Why? Because "Fuck You," That's Why

Some manifestations of game will depend a lot on the context, your age, who you're talking to, and other elements of the situation. This tip is one of those.

When a girl asks me why I'm doing something, I like to say "Why? Because "fuck you," that's why." This works with my particular cocky/somewhat abrasive/don't give a fuck attitude. If you wouldn't feel comfortable saying something like this, then don't. But it works for me and usually gets a laugh.

Learning Everywhere, Everyday, from Everyone

You do not have to restrict yourself to reading books and blogs to learn about game and women. Every time you leave your house you should be watching and being mindful of how men and women are interacting with each other. There are tons of things to watch out for.

Who looks happy and who looks sad? Who is leading who? The men that are with women, how are they holding themselves? When you randomly make eye contact with people, do they look away immediately, hold your gaze a moment and then break? Do they look down afterward or to the side?

Who gets out of the way of who? Do you see people giving directions to one another? Who takes up more space? Who approaches who? Who laughs at whose jokes? Who is leaning in, who is leaning back? Watch everyone's body language. Especially in situations where there is a formal leader. Watch how people fall in line quite naturally. Then see if you can inspire the same kind of behavior in informal situations, when no one is required to follow you, but your alpha presence or lack thereof determines the hierarchy.

I treat every venture out of my apartment as a new chance to observe human and male/female relations. Learn to spot the alphas and the betas. Learn to spot the happily submissive women and the unhappy ones who have had to take the lead for their passive betas.

When you spot a natural alpha, watch how women interact with him. Watch how women interact with betas. Watch groups of men and find out who the AMOG is. Every time you're out and about, always be watching, taking mental notes of behaviors to mimic and behaviors to avoid.

Start paying extra attention to your friends. If you realize one of your male friends is more alpha than you, use him as a role model but keep him away from your girlfriend. If you notice one of your male friends is more beta than you, invite him over to hang out with you anytime you're with women and clearly take the lead and have him follow you. It's been said, Lead the men, and the women will follow.

Start gaming ALL of your female friends. They'll like you better, it will make you more confident, and it's some fast and easy practice that let you learn lots of little things that work and get positive female reactions. When you are gaming you will be surprised to see how eager and happy girls will be to help you out. My female friends are now doing me favors whenever I ask.

Always be learning, and always be seeking to improve yourself.

Slap Women

Kudos to Ferdinand for this post which has soaked into my brain and changed me. This video also demonstrates that very recently physical discipline for women was commonplace, uncontroversial, and universally accepted. These things have been working on my mind. The "It's NEVER okay to hit a woman" programming is being wiped off my system. In the last week I have slapped two women and the results were very positive. It should be noted that the slaps I've given have been done in a playful kind of way, and not so hard that it actually hurts, but enough to get their attention.

The First Slap

At the usual bar hangout with around 8 people. My lesbian friend Leslie is sitting to my right. During some joking around she makes some joke about me and I give a light backhanded slap to the face. It was very light. I'd almost say it was more of a medium/strong tap on the cheek with the back of my hand. I tried googling for a video of a similar kind of slap but I can't find one so my written description will have to suffice. After a split second of shock she started laughing and smiling as did the girl sitting across from us who we were also talking to. From there conversation continued as normal.

The Second Slap

At an Indian restaurant with my fiance Ashley picking up some take-out. We are sitting face to face talking while waiting for our food. I can't remember precisely what she even said, but it was something like "You look really handsome tonight" and I responded by doing the same kind of "tap"/light slap with the back of my hand while saying "Don't talk like that in public." She reacted with a shocked face, followed by appreciative laughter and then leaning in to kiss me. I'm not shitting you.

Before the Second Slap

The slap and then eating Indian food at home was at the tail end of what was already a good evening with my fiance. Here's what happened up until that point.

She gets home from work and we do some talking about how our days went. I mention eating lunch with a female classmate and then some of my conversation with another female classmate in my afternoon class.

During our conversation I start to get a chubby for no particular reason and I pull my dong out and walk over to where she's sitting and start slapping her face with it which transitions into a pretty righteous blowjob. This sexual initiation is to be contrasted with my old style of tentatively asking her if she was in the mood maybe possibly for perhaps sex or maybe just a blowjob pretty please honey? Just pulling your hard dick out and sticking it in her face won't work every time, but it beats asking "pretty please" for sexual favors like a beta chump.

After the blowjob we go out for a beer at a decent place just down the street. During the beer I'm feeling more talkative and happy  than my usual self (thanks to the blowjob???) and so I find it very easy to lead the conversation and be funny. We spend some time talking about when we first got together. She even said how sometimes she misses "Cool Jean-Luc" from when we first met and got together. I asked her to elaborate. I couldn't get much out of her. She probably couldn't say because she doesn't understand what made "Cool Jean-Luc" cool. I understand.

I make the decision for what to get for dinner. Getting Indian take-out was actually her idea, but I framed it as my decision, and so she was happy and appreciative towards me when I made it. As we walked to the restaurant I held her hand but put her hand behind her back, arm bent at the elbow at a 90 degree angle. As we walked this way she told me about how much she enjoyed giving me a blowjob and how she liked watching me cum, and how it made her horny. We exchanged some more dirty talk on the way to the restaurant.

When we get to the restaurant, instead of mulling over the menu for 15 minutes and being unable to decide between a couple things that look good (what I used to do 100% of the time) I made my decision within a few seconds. I was done picking what I wanted before Ashley was. After we choose what we want we sit there talking and that's when I slap her.

A Cascade of Slaps

Then we go home and enjoy some lovely Indian food and share some more laughs and enjoy each others' company. After the pre-dinner beer and the with-dinner wine and the fact that we had both had very busy days we go to bed with no further sexytime, although the next morning she wake up feeling quite in the mood...

After the morning fun we don't see each other for most the day. She goes into town shopping for spring clothes with a friend and I have a female classmate come to the apartment to work on a project. Ashley comes home around 7:00PM and then my female classmate leaves. Ashley and I decide to go out to a restaurant again. First we go by one of our favorite bars for a beer. While we're there two friends of mine happen to bar separately and they come by and say hi to us (social proof for me). While we're enjoying our beer and talking I end up doing the light back-handed slap to her face no less than 3 times. Every single time I do it she loves it. She's smiling and laughing and after the third time she tells me I should stop or people might start to think I'm really an abusive boyfriend. She says this in a fun conspiratorial whisper while smiling. She also initiates some more dirty talk.

At the restaurant we have some delicious food. There's a little dirty talk but mostly chewing. At one point on the walk home I was walking in front of her and she grabbed my arm and told me to slow down so I slapped her again with the same result as before, pleased laughter. I had to try to stop myself because I didn't want to overdo it in one night. The next day, more sex. I should also note that this is all happening within the window of days when Ashley is likely to be ovulating. If I slap her in a week or two and she reacts badly, then perhaps this is a part of it. I should also mention that I've actually seen Ashley's father do this type of light slap to her mother on more than one occasion. If her dad has always done this and she's seen it since being a young child, then this kind of mild violence could be imprinted in her brain as the right and proper behavior of the alpha male of the family unit.

Since I haven't slapped any woman yet during an actual fight or dispute, I can't report on that. But I can unequivocally say that this light playful slap is excellent during playful banter.

Since I started slapping her Ashley has been a lot more pleasant to be around, and she has seemed way happier with me. She's behaved more like a woman in love than any other time in recent memory.

Addendum: I just re-slapped Leslie after class. She responded by laughing and telling me "I like it when you slap me." 

Addendum 2: Slapped another female classmate/friend today. Basically there was no reaction. No smiling or laughing but no getting mad/ flipping out either. She just took it like it was a perfectly natural element of conversation. This kind of slap really is like just a physical neg more than anything else. I'm really loving doing it. I need to work on not getting carried away. Have to keep it natural.

Word Gets Around

Women talk to each other a lot. And no bit of gossip spreads faster than the titillating tales of men behaving badly.

A couple weeks ago I was joking around with a female friend and I started asking her about what color her underwear were. When she refused to tell I started guessing. She feigned being offended and said it wasn't funny. I dropped it but as always without apology.

Fast forward to a couple days ago. I had totally forgotten about this exchange. I'm at a bar with a bunch of friends and I meet two female friends of the girl with whom I had the underwear conversation. The first thing they say to me is to bring up this conversation I had had with their friend.

The smiles on their faces were telling. And it was a bit shocking to me. I'm still new to the red pill. The old me would have never been overtly sexual in any way towards girls. And here are two young girls (aged between 18 and 20) who are thrilled to finally meet the guy who rudely and imprudently was asking their friend about her panties. One of the two friended me on facebook shortly after we met. And the first time we were both connected on facebook chat she immediately sent me a message.

So, go forth. Tease, flirt, and be sexual. Word will get around, and girls will want to meet you.

Strange Reactions

I was watching a movie trailer the other day with Ashley. In the movie trailer there were men cheating on their wives. At one point one of them turns to the other and says, "How can we avoid getting caught?" To which his friend replies, "Well, we could quit cheating on our wives." At which point they both burst out laughing, since neither one of them has any intention to quit cheating.

I look to Ashley (who has talked about how hurt she was when she was cheated on by a past boyfriend) to see her reaction. She was laughing! How silly it would be to expect her to react with disapproval. Women love and cannot resist the incorrigible, fun-loving, sexually driven alpha male.

No woman wants to be cheated on, but she wants that kind of guy. And she expects him to fall so head-over-heals in love that suddenly he'll be content with her and her alone.

Give Her Nothing For Free

Anytime a girl asks you for something you should ask her what she's going to do for you in return. It immediately tells her that you're not a chump that she can use. Plus, if you do something nice it means you'll get something real in return, and not an ephemeral smile and a downright harmful reputation for being a "nice guy." Because, remember, "nice guys" are not MEN. Women say all men are jerks. It's true. If you're not a jerk, she doesn't even see you as a man.

Typically, in my experience, when a girl asks me for something and I ask her what I'll get in return, she responds with a non-committal "I don't know." So, right there she's letting me take the lead and come up with something. So I try to have something in mind in advance. If she asks you for a piece of gum, what do you want in exchange for that? You tell her, and sometimes you'll get it. But here's the deal, you need to be ready to really deny the favor if she's not willing to give you something in return.

What should you ask for in return? A service or a material gain of some kind. Have her do something for you or give you something. DO NOT be a loser and say that in exchange she has to go to a movie or hang out with you. That is a massive DLV since you'd be trying to buy her attention.

Recently a classmate missed class and needed to get someone's notes from that day. She asked me, and I told her I would need something in return. She asked me what I wanted. I told her, and later she did it.

Once you've done this with a girl you have a fun opportunity to DHV very easily. All you have to do is ask HER for a favor. She will ALWAYS copy you and ask you what she will get in return. Then you can say something like "I'll give you a kiss on the mouth" or anything else like that. That way, you're setting up the frame that she is doing you a favor in order to buy YOUR affections. In that frame, you are the high-valued prize, and she's seeking YOU.

In a relationship things are a bit different. It doesn't work so well when you are that explicit that you don't want to do anything for her unless you get something right back. Nonetheless, a relationship should be beneficial to both parties, so when you add things up, you should STILL not be doing anything for free. The rewards may not be explicit and they may come down the road, but you should still make sure you're not just constantly doing things for her if she's unwilling to do things for you. Ideally in a relationship you'll be happy to do things that please her, but she should be the same way.

Transmute your Smiles into Smirks

Smiling is an approval seeking behavior. Smirking shows that you're laughing on the inside, and can be a good DHV.

I'm naturally a very smiley, easy to laugh kind of guy. Lately one of my areas of focus has been to stop smiling, and instead smirk. Do this for a day and the difference is night and day. Girls feel intimidated but also intrigued by a smirk. You cannot smirk around a girl without her asking you what you're thinking, why you're looking at her like that, what's so funny, etc. It puts the fear in them because they immediately think that you're laughing AT them. Which is an EXCELLENT thing for them to be thinking.

Smiling is social and something people do in groups. A smirk is private. A smirk says that you're thinking of something that's amusing to you, but you don't feel the need to share it. You are perfectly happy with your funny thought and you won't be any happier by sharing it with someone else. A smirk is very unneedy. You cannot appear needy and smirk at the same time.

A smirk is confident. People without confidence do not smirk. According to the free online dictionary "smirk" is defined: An affected, often offensively self-satisfied smile. Smirk for the tingle.

Male Depression and Reversed Gender Roles

Here is a report about male depression and different patterns that the men and their girlfriends/wives assumed in their relationship.

What they found was that the most common pattern was "trading places."

Oliffe and his UBC colleagues found that "trading places" is the most common pattern. In these relationships, the partners took on atypical masculine and feminine roles to cope with challenges caused by the men's depression. For instance, men assumed the role of homemaker while the women became the family breadwinner.

Oliffe says, "Here, women partners also broke with feminine ideals in how they provided partner support by employing tough love strategies for self-protection and a means of prompting the men's self-management of their depression."

Now, the article makes it sound like this role reversal or "trading places" situation was a "strategy" for dealing with the man's depression. The conclusion I feel tempted to draw is that actually this role reversal probably pre-dates and is probably a partial cause of the depression. The fact that "trading places" is the most common situation they found in the case of male depression seems curious to me. In any case, it seems to confirm game principles. Woman in charge = depressed man. The study doesn't seem to address female happiness. I'd predict female's are also less happy in the "trading places" couples.

The study also has nothing to say about whether or not this "trading places" strategy actually worked at helping the men end their depression. I am strongly inclined to think that it won't and cannot work.

From my personal experience, when I took the back seat in the relationship and tried to let her make the decisions (thinking that giving her what she wanted would make her and thus both of us happy) led to her being ever-increasingly grouchy and difficult to be around, and made me feel helpless, confused, and overall not all that happy. I wouldn't say I got depressed necessarily, but I was far from thriving.

Moral of the story: be the man. Don't trade places. 

Gaming a Lesbian

I wonder if anyone else has written on this topic. What would happen if you try to game a lesbian? Well, I'm trying to find out.

I've got a lesbian classmate, we'll call her Leslie. She's actually a pretty cool chick. She's not a man-hater, she even says she's not a feminist. Sometimes when we're in a bar or coffee shop she'll tell me which girl she thinks is the hottest. At first I just treated her like I would any male friend.

Then I got curious. What would happen if I started to tease and neg her? What would happen if I started to pump up how confident I acted around her? What if I started issuing instructions and demands, acting dominant? What would happen if I started paying extra attention to mimicking alpha male body language when I'm hanging out with her? What would happen if I held eye contact until she broke it? What if I did non-needy, aloof things, like when we chat online, leave first, and without saying goodbye (just leave her hanging). What if I did some push-pull, talk to her a lot one day, then the next few days totally ignore her?

The result: She acts like any normal girl would when she has a crush on a guy. She smiles really big when she sees me. She comes over to me to sit by me in class. She initiates physical contact such as the light punch on the shoulder, the abs punch, the back scratch. When seated next to each other, she'll stick her elbow out to push against mine (I now sit with my arms spread out on the table in front of me, taking up more space). When I leave her hanging on facebook chat, I generally come back to see messages like "Jean-Luc, where did you go? Hey!?" Then she'll ask me later why I did it and I respond by teasing and saying I have more interesting things to do than just resting stuck at my computer all day. Sometimes when I do the push/pull and act cold for a while or just don't talk to her, she'll act concerned and ask me if I'm mad at her. She's relieved when I say "No."

Not every lesbian will necessarily be the same, and high T lesbians might be a lot more dominant and not respond to game behavior. But it seems that my friend Leslie has got the masculine trait of being attracted to women's bodies and desiring sex with them, but at the same time she seems wired to respond to social dominance and cockiness, hence her positive response to me running game.

As an aside, having a lesbian friend is kind of a safe way of running some pre-selection game when you're in a LTR. My fiance always asks who it is when she hears the sound of me getting a text. She even acts slightly jealous when Leslie and I are exchanging texts. She jokes about me texting my girlfriend.

Learn Game From FMyLife #1

Partially got the idea for this post from this post on Alpha Game.

1. If you are a beta trying to be a nice guy at work you risk getting fired:

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

Never compliment a woman on her appearance, ever, unless you're already in a relationship with the woman and even then don't overdo it. Why? Because 1)If she doesn't like you the compliment won't be "nice" it will be creepy. 2) If she does like you then complimenting her won't make her like you more, it may even make her like you less because it raises her value relative to yours.

2. How to make sure that old friend calls you back:

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

I'd bet this guys gets called back. Pre-selection at work. Tip to everyone else, keep all your condom receipts and make it the only way you give out your number.

3. For anyone who knows about game it is transparently clear why she has such a big crush on this guy:

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

He is treating her like a guy, and showing pre-selection because he's apparently getting laid all the time.

4. Some good fatherly advice:

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

 Dad is right, girls like it sex to be rough.

Play with Her Things

Since I've started weightlifting, dressing better, acting cocky, teasing, and vigilantly minding my body language there have been some little behaviors that just came to me naturally and spontaneously, and I can report back some seemingly positive results. One of these behaviors is treating anything of a woman's like it's mine, or at the very least, assuming naturally that I have the right to touch/play/use her things without needing permission.

I started doing this in the context of sitting in class next to girls who have pencil cases full of pens of every color, highlighters, pencils, erasers, pencil sharpeners. They've got their planners on the table, a ruler, white out, chap stick, water bottles, a few books, etc. They're fully equipped for every possible eventuality. I've got a notebook and a black pen. 

When I sit next to these girls who have half an office supply store spread out on the desk in front of them I play with their shit and use their pens and other stuff whenever I feel like it. At first they offered up a tiny bit of verbal resistance, or acted slightly annoyed, but this all faded into total permissiveness. 

I act as though everything that is within my reach belongs to me. If they found my behavior annoying, intolerable, unacceptable, rude, inconsiderate, humiliating, unfair, unjust or anything else they could solve the problem quite easily by not sitting next to me in class. So, what do these girls do? They come sit by me in class.

I was doing this for a while and noticing the positive results with a few female classmates for a while, then one day I sat bay Theresa who was mentioned in this post. When she comes to class frumpy she's probably a 6 but I've seen her out in town and out in a bar with her blonde wavy hair down, nice clothes, and some make-up, and this easily boosts her to a solid 7 or 7.5 (depends on what you like, I'm actually not usually into blondes, preferring brunettes and redheads). I had sat by her once in class but I hadn't played with her stuff that day. On the day I did, it had a powerful effect. I feel silly writing this because I'm having a hard time believing it myself. I'm not silly enough to give 100% credit to the fact that I took her pen and used her pencil sharpener. I had already been acting cocky and indifferent around her for a while. Nonetheless, it seems like me "owning" everything within my personal space did something to push her over the edge.

Before I played with her stuff I actually did something I didn't think anything of, but seemed to have a good effect. The professor said something and wrote something on the board and I looked over to see if Theresa had copied what was on the board into her notes. She hadn't. I leaned over and told her to write it down. She looked at me as if for the first time. She held eye contact and I didn't flinch. She smiles and shakes her head. I almost feel like this story won't seem credible, because it sounds so absurd. But anyway, it happened and so I shall carry on telling it.

Later she calls me an asshole (seems like an overreaction for just telling her to write something in her notes) and I gave a smirk and said "Thanks." A little later I take one of her pens from her pencil case. I was going to pass her a little note but I didn't have any paper (I was taking notes on my laptop). So instead I just pull her notebook a little closer to me, and I go to write on it. When she saw I was going to write in her notebook she looked at me almost glaringly with a sort of "don't you dare write in my notebook" kind of look. I held her gaze and wrote in her notebook anyway, totally not giving a fuck. I just wrote "I'm falling asleep!" It was true, this class was particularly boring. Then a little after that I take a pencil out of her case and her pencil sharpener and I sharpen the pencil for no reason other than to mess with her stuff.

Later we are chatting online and she started using all these terms of endearment with me that actually made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Suddenly she was calling me "dear," "darling," and she said once that I was "lovely." It's too weird for me to be making this up. She had said she was a good cook so I said she should make me something she's good at. So we were planning on her making me pizza sometime. She said that after the pizza I would owe her "something." 

The Frustration and Danger of Partial Success

To recap for anyone that hasn't read the blog's earlier posts, I'm engaged to Ashley and I'm running the MAP so we can have more and better sexy time. Since moving in together, the sexy time dropped to miserably low and mediocre levels.

Athol Kay foresaw perfectly what happens when you start running the MAP. He warned of the consequences here. This is already happening to me.

He didn't insist enough, however, on just how frustrating it can be if the MAP is being partially successful. Basically, as I've been taking care of my appearance and grooming, working out, acting more confident, and increasing the teasing, I've been getting very fast results. But my results have been a lot faster with other women than they have been with my fiance.

I get tons of IOIs from my female friends. Meanwhile, I'm still getting rejected for sex at home with my fiance. The sex with my fiance has increased, but it's still below what I would consider healthy and acceptable levels. It's still low enough that I continue to feel very frustrated sexually.

I'm in a difficult position where it would be faster and easier to get sex from other females than it is from my fiance. Based on the IOIs I'm getting, I'm sure if I isolated and escalated, the panties would fall. This applies to at least two female school mates, if not three or four. Meanwhile, my sexual success rate with my fiance is currently between 1/3 and 1/5 attempts. There really aren't words for how frustrating it feels to walk away from several pretty young things launching salvo after salvo of IOIs at you, only to go home and have someone you've already been intimate with deny you sex for any one of a million different transparently bullshit reasons that all just translate into "I'm not attracted to you today."

Now, I know that to release the tension all I have to do is pull back from these other girls and quit gaming them. I could start being overly and awkwardly nice to them, give them compliments, end all teasing, or just avoid talking to them etc. But my interactions with them have become extremely fun. It is addicting. And it seems easier to run game with casual friends like this than it is with someone you live with. My game has developed nicely but my relationship game still needs work. It's harder to come up with smart witty banter and teasing when we're dealing with household chores, going grocery shopping, or deciding what to eat for dinner. Plus, it's also easy to put on the alpha act when I leave the house in the morning, and I think part of me wants to be able to relax it and just beta-out at home.

With the other girls I also don't have the weight of 2+ years of extremely passive betatude weighing down on me. I've only known these new classmates since September. It's a lot easier slipping into my new persona around them than it is when I'm around my fiance who I've been with for roughly four years now.

I think one thing to do is try to insist more on my fiance coming out with me when I hang out with my friends. You don't gain any pre-selection effect if your target doesn't see how the other women are reacting to you. Pretty much anytime I go out with my classmates my fiance is invited, but recently she has been staying home, saying she's not in the mood to go out, or feeling too tired. I go out anyway, but the most recent night out was excruciating for me. Very pretty young things acting very interested in me and then I go home to fiance already asleep in her very unsexy pajamas.

Today is International Women's Day

Here are some videos to commemorate International Women's Day.

And another classic:

This guys is hilarious:

Treat Her Like A Child

The other day Badger wrote about how when you're pursuing or getting to know a new chick, you should treat her like a guy. This is good advice, but when in a LTR sometimes you have to treat her like a child.

As I mentioned in "Rules about the Housekeeping", having rules about who does what and when is a good way to avoid squabbles and disagreements, and wasting time discussion about who should do what in any given situation.

Despite having some rules in our apartment, I had been struggling with some of Ashley's annoying behavior of not putting things in their places. Her coat, instead of being hung up in the closet, is thrown on the couch. Her purse is on the floor next to the couch. She took her earrings off and for some unknown reason she placed them on the kitchen table. Her shoes (one pair among dozens) are in the middle of the floor. 

My "struggle" really just consisted of me being quietly annoyed and not knowing what to do. This was a left-over from my lifelong betaness. I'm not that guy anymore though. I'm a new man. I'm not going to just quietly suffer a cluttered apartment. Especially when I am quite faultless in this area. All of my things are in my areas or in designated places where they belong. My desk is a bit cluttered, but it's my desk, and my clutter doesn't spread to neutral areas like the couch, kitchen table, bed, etc. My coat is in the closet. My shoes are on the doormat by the front door. 

Tired of wading through her clutter, it dawned on me what I must do. Treat her like a child. 

At first I tried it like a light scolding telling her she needs to hang her coat up when she gets home instead of just throwing it on the couch. She reacted negatively, and didn't hang up her coat. Not sure what to do, I did nothing and waited.

Later in the evening, I tried it with a different tone/attitude. This time, I went to her, and took her by the hand. I led her to the couch and in a parental but also playful kind of way acted like she was a little girl that didn't know better, and I was just teaching her what to do. I said, "You see, when we come home, we don't throw our coat on the couch, we take it to the closet and put it on a hanger. You see how nice that is? Now we know where our coat is, and the couch isn't cluttered up!" This time, she actually responded with some laughter and went along with what I was doing. Then, after she hung her coat up, she actually looked at me with a very submissive look, like she really was a little girl that had just gotten in trouble. THEN, she came towards me and gave me a hug....and grabbed my dick. This didn't lead to sex, but I think this is definitely a positive response.

The next day I come home and she's drinking a tea with a female coworker. I walk into the next room and I see her coat on the couch. I hesitate a moment, then I know exactly what I need to do. I go and ask her (in front of her coworker) if she had already forgotten what I had taught her the day before (I say this kind of playfully). She tries to brush it off, but I won't let her. I take her hand and she resists a little bit, but I use my superior strength to pull her up from her chair, and I once again lead her to her coat, then walked her to the closet and make her hang it up, her female coworker seeing the whole thing. This is done playfully, with both of them appearing to find it funny, and I am clearly winning social dominance points. 

Unfortunately, the lesson isn't sinking in too quickly. There's a third time when I find her coat on the couch. I go get her, take her to the coat, but this time I sit down on the couch and I pull her over my lap and start giving her a spanking for not hanging up her coat. She laughed and squealed and loved it.

"Shut up" Game

Here are some  fun reports of a recent interactions I had with some female classmates.

The other day I went to the library to do some school work and I happen to run across two female classmates. One of them is "Sally" mentioned in a previous post, and the other we'll call Theresa. I sit down with them and we talk a little bit before each of us began focusing on their own work. At one point I am tearing old pages out of my planner, which has a leather outer cover and looks kind of nice and official. I tear the pages out and crumple them up and just toss the crumpled-up balls onto the table.

Sally says "Oh, that's very professional." I mistakenly think that she's sarcastically criticizing me for crumpling up the paper and tossing it on the table. I look at her and say "Shut up." Cue a shocked but queerly delighted look on her face, and an even more thrilled and delighted look on Theresa's face. Theresa was smiling ear to freaking ear. Sally asked why I said that when she was just complimenting me for my professional-looking planner. I say, "Oh I thought you were giving me crap about crumpling up the paper and tossing it on the table." Note: I did not apologize for saying "Shut up," but I did explain why I had said that. Then I said thanks for the compliment about my planner. Then moved on to another subject.

The looks on both girls' faces after I told one of them to shut up is now pleasantly burned into my mind. I would not likely have said something like that a few months ago. Now it was automatic, and the reward was immediate. They loved it. There's no misinterpreting the almost ecstatic delight on their faces when they realized they were in the presence of a man that isn't going to take any crap, even sarcastic criticism, even though that's not what she meant. Even though I had misunderstood what she was trying to say, it was nonetheless a DHV.

A couple days after this incident, I had the opportunity to use "Shut up" game again. I was in class, sitting next to another girl. I don't think I've mentioned her yet on the blog, so I'll call her Beth. As I said before, since I learned about game I've started experimenting and I am running it on everyone, my fiance, my classmates, strangers, everyone, just to see the reactions. It seems to be working on Beth pretty well. Sitting next to her in class, she passes me a note asking if I dumped a whole bucket of gel in my hair that morning. I'll admit here that I had put too much. I'm still new to doing my hair this way. There were probably better, wittier, smarter things to say in response to what she said, but when I couldn't think of anything, I just responded to her note by writing "you need to shut up." When I passed the note to her she smiled and did a head tilt, then did a playful fake-acting-offended face. Throughout the rest of the class period I caught her looking at me a few times. It's insane, this stuff actually works.

To be sure, it's going to matter why and how you say "shut up," but showing that you can and will stand up for yourself is always going to be a DHV and should have a positive result. Beware though, I've noted that "shut up" game doesn't work nearly as well on my fiance. Perhaps I need to work on how I say it with her. What is effectively the same and seems to work better though, when she's saying something I don't like, is simply to cut her off and start speaking myself. She reacts negatively to shut up, but when I cut her off and interrupt her, so far she drops whatever she was saying and goes along with the new frame I've set up.

Apartment Buzzer Shit Test

I live in an apartment with my fiance. Naturally, we both have keys to the apartment. Miss Ashley is too lazy to fish her keys out of her messy purse to open the damn door for herself, so she always buzzes the doorbell for me to get up and buzz her in. This annoyed me from the very first time she did it, but of course, at first I just rolled over and played along. Usually the buzzer would startle me. I'd be on my computer or reading or doing something else, and out of nowhere would come this obnoxious doorbell/buzzer sound. I would have to stop what I was doing, jump up and run to the interphone and buzz her in. Just because the princess can't reach in her purse and get her keys out. Well, needless to say, that's never going to happen again.

The other day she got home and rang the doorbell but I did nothing. She rang it again. I did nothing. Note that already, the time it takes to ring the bell twice and wait is more time than it should take for her to just reach in her bag and take her damn keys out. Finally she does get her keys out and lets herself in the building and comes up to the apartment. She acts surprised to see me there.

"Oh, you're home? Why didn't you let me in?"

I say "I've told you how much I hate it when you do that. You have keys, use them."

"I have two heavy bags and my purse is a mess and it's too annoying searching through my purse to find my keys."

"Too bad."

We'll see what happens when she gets home today (if I'm home when she gets home that is. As I mentioned in this post, I'm trying to spend less time at the apartment). Unless she calls me in advance saying she forgot her keys or lost them, I'm never answering the buzzer again. She's a grown-up, she can get her keys out of her purse and use them.

No Make-Up Sex, What am I Doing Wrong?

I believe that make-up sex is a real thing, but I'm just taking other people's word on it. I've never experienced it.

I think if you're a beta that loses the fight by giving in to whatever your girlfriend demands, you don't have make-up sex. This was me until very recently, but...

I've had a few fights recently with Ashley, and I've stood my ground, held onto my integrity and self-respect, but still no make-up sex. Next time Ashley and I fight, how should I go about the fight in order to get her panties wet? There's been some different discussions on how alphas fight. Some suggest the silent treatment, some say that yelling is beta since it shows that the women can manipulate your emotional state. Yet it seems like I've known plenty of guys that get into huge yelling fights with their girlfriends, and they report excellent make-up sex afterwards. I know women LOVE drama. Maybe if I let myself get riled up and yell and holler a bit that would satisfy her need for that. I'm typically extremely calm and unflappable. This is generally a good thing, but I suppose it could be frustrating for Ashley if she never sees any reaction or emotion from me. It also has seemed as though she sometimes interprets my calmness as timidity and weakness. So part of me thinks I should try going off on her next time we're fighting.

I've tried some different fighting strategies and I've never had the passionate hot make-up sex. Just kind of like 'huh, I guess we're done fighting now. Let's go back to normal routine.'

I am genuinely seeking advice here, so please leave comments with your personal experiences.

Learning to Spot Submissive Cues

I grew up being specifically told not to be a bully. I grew up being taught to treat women with respect. I grew up being taught to cooperate and negotiate. None of these things are necessarily terrible, but taken together the effect it had on me was that it made me allergic to taking the lead. I didn't want to seem pushy. I didn't want to imply that I was more important than someone else. I became submissive and passive. I may be naturally inclined to that as well, but regardless of the nature, the nurture aspect was definitely there.

I would ask people what they wanted to do. I would always ask other people's preferences, and give them the choice. I always let other people make the decision. I rarely insisted on getting my own way. I didn't take the initiative, but waited for someone else to take the lead.

Now that I've learned about game, I'm changing all this about myself. I'm taking the initiative, I'm stating my preferences, and insisting that at least half the time I get what I want. The other half of this is that now I'm starting to recognize the submissive behavior of others, and especially women. Now I notice the passive, deferential, and submissive behavior I used to be guilty of.

If you keep your eyes open, you can start to notice when people are deferring to you and letting you lead. Don't mess it up and reject this opportunity to be the leader. Don't get into a submission contest where 2 or more people spin their wheels each trying to defer to the other.

When someone asks your permission, or asks your approval before doing something, notice it. Notice that they are treating you like the leader, and make an effort to reinforce this frame. This can be a subtle thing in a situation where technically you're two "equals." For instance, I'm currently working on two projects in school. In both situations it is me with one partner. There is no official boss. Nonetheless, while working on one of the projects the other day, I began to pick up on a lot of submissive cues from my female partner Vicki.

We needed to send an email to a professor asking a few questions. We sort of talked about it, her asking if I thought it was a good idea, etc. I said yeah. Nothing happened. Leadership vacuum. Then I step in and lead, and delegated the email writing to her. "I'll let you write and send the email." Then she wrote it. Before she hit "send," though, she sought my approval. I read it over and said it looked good, and instructed her to send it. These things are fairly subtle but now I'm noticing them. I'm not being bossy, pushy, disagreeable, or unpleasant to be around. But I am assuming the dominant role, and leading.

This obviously must apply in my relationship with my fiance. I used to constantly fail. She would ask my opinion, or seek approval before taking an action, and I would actively reject the leadership role she was trying desperately to put me in. I believed that doing everything to make a woman happy would make her happy. That is not true. I didn't understand why she was wanting my permission or approval. I would always respond, "Do whatever you want, honey. Do whatever you prefer, honey. It's not my decision, dear. Why are you asking me?" DO NOT RESPOND THIS WAY.

Here is what you must do: Notice the submissive cues, and always assume the role of leader. That's what will make a woman happy. If you try to give her everything she wants, you are implicitly denying her the one thing she needs: a dominant leading man.

Once again, being a dominant leading man has nothing to do with being a bully, being pushy, or being unpleasant. It's not about yelling or stomping your feet. It's subtle, but it's vital to your relationship with a woman.

To learn more about submissive cues and body language, click here.