It's good to have little rules about who does what when it comes to housekeeping, but never get too comfortable. She will try to break the rules. Don't let her get away with it.
With Ashley we put in place a rule as soon as we moved in together. For any given meal, whoever doesn't cook does the dishes. One person cooks, the other does the dishes, but generally the person who cooks clears and wipes the table while the other one does the dishes. This system worked brilliantly for a long time. But guess who started to push and bend and break the rules? She did. Guess who was the ultimate chump who let it happen for a long time and became the cook and the clean up man way too often? Me.
It started with her saying she "wasn't in the mood" to do the dishes right away after I had cooked dinner. This annoyed me because I don't like the kitchen sink being loaded with dirty dishes that just sit there for who knows how long. It makes it hard to use the sink, it can stink up the kitchen, it's dirty, etc. So the first several times she "wasn't in the mood" to do the dishes, I made the ultimate mistake and just did them for her. This of course just gives her all the incentive in the world to "not feel like" doing the dishes whenever she wants, because she knew I would just get up and do them.
Eventually, I quit doing the dishes for free. Now when she says she'll do them later, she does do them later. I don't touch them. I leave them there. Sometimes she does them 2 hours later, sometimes she does them the next morning or the next afternoon, but I absolutely will not step up and do them for her for no reason.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Don't Be Around
Here's something I wish someone would have drilled into my head before I moved in with my fiance. I feel absolutely convinced that successfully applying this principle could have helped me a lot.
When you're with a woman, you should be doing a shared activity. Otherwise, get away from her. I have failed at this miserably. The last three years my fiance and I have lived together. The first year I worked part time and she was a student. So we were both around the apartment a lot. Not doing stuff together necessarily, both just there. The second year we were both students. Once again, despite being busy with schoolwork, (we're doing master's degrees, she has finished, I'm still going), we're nonetheless both home a lot. Not doing things together, we're both just there. The third year of living together, which is the present situation, she's finished school, but not found full time work. She'll work full time for a few weeks, then not have work, then work part time for a month, etc. I'm still a student. I'm very busy, but I'm at the apartment, a lot. I don't want to think about the number of hours me and my fiance have spent both just being around each other. Not interacting, not talking, not doing anything together, but being around. I think this is one of the things that killed the attraction.
I've been trying to change. Now, instead of studying at home, I go to the library. I don't like spending money unnecessarily, but instead of drinking a coffee at home, I should try to go out more. Get out of the apartment. How can someone be attracted to the lump that's constantly there? Is a man sexy if you know where he is 99% of the time, and you know that he's just right there in the apartment, 75% of the time? Even if I'm studying at the library, that can still create at some level of her brain a little tinge of dread, like Roissy talks about. Because, hey, there are other girls at the library. Sometimes I'll talk to them. Sometimes I'll run into acquaintances and then when I go back home I can mention it innocently to her. I feel so bad when I think back at the thousands of hours that I've just lingered around the apartment. Even when I have nothing to do, I'm going to try to go do nothing somewhere else.
When you're just lingering around, you become a prime target for nagging. You become a prime target for all those probing questions that will allow her to discover that you're not in charge, that you don't have a plan, that you're just drifting along. I hate it when Ashley asks me what I'm planning on doing. Because 99% of the time I've got no plan. I like to go with the flow. But when she starts asking, she starts taking control. If I don't have a plan, she'll start making a plan for me.
But now I've got a plan. My plan is to try to never just be around. Make the time with your girl meaningful. If you're both just around you might as well be in a retirement home waiting to die. Do something together or go away. Get out of the apartment. Don't be around.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Becoming Beta
In my 'When I Was Alpha' post, I related the story of how I met my fiance, and all the things I had going for me that made her very very attracted to me. All of these things accord with game principles. We had great, hot, frequent sex. Then I asked her to marry me, and we moved in together. Then we had no sex.
This post could equally well be called "What not to do when you move in with a woman." I see now that when we moved in together, I lost every behavior and trait that had been sexy about me before that. I took the back seat in the relationship, I let her lead, and effectively killed off our sex life.
Ashley and I are not from the same city or country. We've spent months at a time apart. She's spent time on my home turf, but mostly now I've moved to her home turf. When we lived together in my home turf, I inevitably lead things. I knew where to go and what to do. I had friends that we hung out with. I drove the car. I was the man. I showed her the way. The sex was frequent and hot.
When we first met, I was on "her turf" (her country, her city), but at the time, I had more friends there than she even did, I knew more fun bars and places to go. I made the plans. I told her where we were going, when, with who, etc. Then later, when I actually moved semi-permanently to her "home turf" things changed.
Suddenly we were living together in a very small apartment. All my friends that I had had were foreign students, they had all left. Suddenly, I wasn't Mr. Social. I wasn't Mr. Popular. I had no friends. We didn't have money to burn in the bars like I had had before, so we weren't going out. We were staying home. It wasn't a new apartment, I had moved into her apartment. I wasn't in my space. I was trying to get by in her zone. I wanted things to work, so I gave in to everything. I lost every fight. I let myself get yelled at about socks on the floor. I even eventually cried at one point, I was so frustrated, I just wanted things to work, I was far from my home, far from my friends, far from my family, trying to be nice to this woman who was turning vicious and mean, who was yelling at me about stupid bullshit all the time. She yelled at me about my socks left on the floor and I cried. Is this an attractive man she still wants to have sex with? No.
Things continue more or less this way for 2.5 years. Not always that bad. Things got better, but the fundamental shift that had taken place remained. I was no longer the social, exciting, independent, sexy, pre-selected man that she had met. I was the guy that was working part time, slouching around the apartment the rest of the time, guy. We hung out with her friends since I no longer had any of my own in this town. She made the plans. She became the boss. I couldn't drive in this country. She drove the car. Since we were closer to her parents, we depended on them. I became her dependent.
And I didn't understand why the sex had stopped. I knew that in long term relationships you don't permanently have sex twice a day. I knew that things should naturally taper off a bit. But that's not what happened to us. We went from having the new couple frantic frequent fun sex everyday, twice day, three times a day, spontaneous blowjobs, sex followed by a handjob an hour later, sometimes her almost "raping" me, sex in the morning, sex at night, sex in the afternoon, sex right before leaving the apartment, sex that would make us late to social events, sex that would make us hurt later.....to sex once a month. Sometimes less. I think it is more accurate to say one sex act per month, sometimes sex, sometimes a blowjob. Just like that. And it happened right when I moved onto her "turf", into her apartment, in her country, in her city. It happened the second I started doing anything and everything to "make things work." Because for me, to make things work, I became willing to sacrifice anything. I didn't stand up for myself. I tolerated shit from her that I should never have tolerated. Moving out of my country was a huge investment, and I didn't want it to have been a mistake.
We talked about the lack of sex. Talking did nothing. Talking just led to tons of bullshit theories. First it was blamed on the pill (a legitimate concern, but there's no way it would do what happened to us.), blamed on her putting weight on and therefore not feeling "sexy" herself, it got blamed on a theoretical hormonal problem she might have that's never been detected by any doctor. We kept saying her sex drive would come back eventually since she quit the pill, or as she lost the weight that the pill made her gain, etc. But she never made any real effort to exercise, eat healthier (we actually already eat really well, but I still wanted her to make a few changes), or eat less. She didn't make any effort to change anything to try to get her sex drive back. Of course, now I realize the problem was that I was the one that had changed, and she was no longer attracted to me. I had done nothing "wrong" based on what I've been taught. I was nice, accommodating, caring, I insisted on communication, tried to insist that we never go to bed angry, etc. All those nice guy things we're taught to do when we're in a relationship. None of that got her pussy wet. Her pussy was wet for me when I had more friends than her, went out drinking 5 nights a week, had lots of options with women, did what I wanted, and led the way.
Before I paint too bad a picture, I will say that we do love each other. We have a lot of fun together, we've both meshed amazingly well into each others' families, she's a great cook, she does laundry and irons and vacuums and mops and does other wonderful wifey type things, and despite the disappointing sex life since moving in together, I don't want to leave her, nor her me. I'm thrilled that I've learned about http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/ and http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ and other blogs that have helped me understand how and why things have happened how they have. And now that I'm armed with this information, I'm going to be turning things around. I know how to be sexually attractive to Ashley again. I feel confident that I'll be able to move our sex life back towards how it was a bit before. Maybe not three times a day, but perhaps three times a week. And after 2.5 years of getting one sex act a month, three times a week will feel like paradise.
This post could equally well be called "What not to do when you move in with a woman." I see now that when we moved in together, I lost every behavior and trait that had been sexy about me before that. I took the back seat in the relationship, I let her lead, and effectively killed off our sex life.
Ashley and I are not from the same city or country. We've spent months at a time apart. She's spent time on my home turf, but mostly now I've moved to her home turf. When we lived together in my home turf, I inevitably lead things. I knew where to go and what to do. I had friends that we hung out with. I drove the car. I was the man. I showed her the way. The sex was frequent and hot.
When we first met, I was on "her turf" (her country, her city), but at the time, I had more friends there than she even did, I knew more fun bars and places to go. I made the plans. I told her where we were going, when, with who, etc. Then later, when I actually moved semi-permanently to her "home turf" things changed.
Suddenly we were living together in a very small apartment. All my friends that I had had were foreign students, they had all left. Suddenly, I wasn't Mr. Social. I wasn't Mr. Popular. I had no friends. We didn't have money to burn in the bars like I had had before, so we weren't going out. We were staying home. It wasn't a new apartment, I had moved into her apartment. I wasn't in my space. I was trying to get by in her zone. I wanted things to work, so I gave in to everything. I lost every fight. I let myself get yelled at about socks on the floor. I even eventually cried at one point, I was so frustrated, I just wanted things to work, I was far from my home, far from my friends, far from my family, trying to be nice to this woman who was turning vicious and mean, who was yelling at me about stupid bullshit all the time. She yelled at me about my socks left on the floor and I cried. Is this an attractive man she still wants to have sex with? No.
Things continue more or less this way for 2.5 years. Not always that bad. Things got better, but the fundamental shift that had taken place remained. I was no longer the social, exciting, independent, sexy, pre-selected man that she had met. I was the guy that was working part time, slouching around the apartment the rest of the time, guy. We hung out with her friends since I no longer had any of my own in this town. She made the plans. She became the boss. I couldn't drive in this country. She drove the car. Since we were closer to her parents, we depended on them. I became her dependent.
And I didn't understand why the sex had stopped. I knew that in long term relationships you don't permanently have sex twice a day. I knew that things should naturally taper off a bit. But that's not what happened to us. We went from having the new couple frantic frequent fun sex everyday, twice day, three times a day, spontaneous blowjobs, sex followed by a handjob an hour later, sometimes her almost "raping" me, sex in the morning, sex at night, sex in the afternoon, sex right before leaving the apartment, sex that would make us late to social events, sex that would make us hurt later.....to sex once a month. Sometimes less. I think it is more accurate to say one sex act per month, sometimes sex, sometimes a blowjob. Just like that. And it happened right when I moved onto her "turf", into her apartment, in her country, in her city. It happened the second I started doing anything and everything to "make things work." Because for me, to make things work, I became willing to sacrifice anything. I didn't stand up for myself. I tolerated shit from her that I should never have tolerated. Moving out of my country was a huge investment, and I didn't want it to have been a mistake.
We talked about the lack of sex. Talking did nothing. Talking just led to tons of bullshit theories. First it was blamed on the pill (a legitimate concern, but there's no way it would do what happened to us.), blamed on her putting weight on and therefore not feeling "sexy" herself, it got blamed on a theoretical hormonal problem she might have that's never been detected by any doctor. We kept saying her sex drive would come back eventually since she quit the pill, or as she lost the weight that the pill made her gain, etc. But she never made any real effort to exercise, eat healthier (we actually already eat really well, but I still wanted her to make a few changes), or eat less. She didn't make any effort to change anything to try to get her sex drive back. Of course, now I realize the problem was that I was the one that had changed, and she was no longer attracted to me. I had done nothing "wrong" based on what I've been taught. I was nice, accommodating, caring, I insisted on communication, tried to insist that we never go to bed angry, etc. All those nice guy things we're taught to do when we're in a relationship. None of that got her pussy wet. Her pussy was wet for me when I had more friends than her, went out drinking 5 nights a week, had lots of options with women, did what I wanted, and led the way.
Before I paint too bad a picture, I will say that we do love each other. We have a lot of fun together, we've both meshed amazingly well into each others' families, she's a great cook, she does laundry and irons and vacuums and mops and does other wonderful wifey type things, and despite the disappointing sex life since moving in together, I don't want to leave her, nor her me. I'm thrilled that I've learned about http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/ and http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ and other blogs that have helped me understand how and why things have happened how they have. And now that I'm armed with this information, I'm going to be turning things around. I know how to be sexually attractive to Ashley again. I feel confident that I'll be able to move our sex life back towards how it was a bit before. Maybe not three times a day, but perhaps three times a week. And after 2.5 years of getting one sex act a month, three times a week will feel like paradise.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
When I Was Alpha
When I met my fiance, I was a pretty alpha guy. I knew nothing about game. I wasn't even "good" with women. It was a unique set of circumstances that made me into a pretty attractive alpha type dude, and looking back, it makes perfect sense now why I was so attractive to the girl who is now my fiance.
What follows is a tale of an average beta, with very little confidence, who unwittingly became very alpha for about a year. The changes in my interactions with women were huge.
I was never good with women. I was terrified of them. I didn't know how to talk to them. I couldn't be direct. It would take me months of talking to a girl and hanging out with her before I would get the nerve to awkwardly try to kiss her, which would fail horribly because after such a long wait I was already firmly locked into her friend zone.
Then, I planned to do a study abroad. I was going to leave the country at the end of the summer, and spend a semester in Europe. Magically, I became imbued with outcome indifference. I wasn't nervous about anything that was happening that summer because I knew I was about to take off. I wasn't stressed when I was talking to girls. I was still shy and had many other troubles, but I had made a huge leap in confidence, indifference, aloofness. I dated one girl for a while. I never quite made a move on her (showing that I was still behind the curve) but the fact that I went on a few dates was huge for me.
Then one night at a party I attracted one girl. By the end of the night, I had lost interest in her, but she was clearly interested in me. She was mine for the taking. A friend actually took quite a liking to her, and so I left them to talk. They've been dating for years now, but that first night, she was very attracted to me. She's since said that if I had wanted to fuck her that night, I could have.
Before I left the country I had a going away party at a friend's apartment. Before this party I had kissed something like 3 girls in my life, and had made out with 2. Then at my going away party, I made out with two chicks in one night. My friends had a hammock on their balcony, and I spent quite a while making out with a friend of a friend in this hammock. She had to the leave the party a little later, I don't quite remember why. After she left, a friend's sister started talking to me a lot, acting very interested. She lived in a dorm nearby. I walked her there, and we made out in her dorm. I probably could have escalated, but as I mentioned, I had no experience with women, I was still a virgin, and I was nervous. So we made out a while, and I left and went back to the party.
I didn't understand then what was going on. But clearly the fact that I was about to leave, and was just having fun and not worried about the consequences made a huge difference in how chicks were seeing me, and made a huge difference in how I must have been behaving towards them. Plus, the fact that I was about to go on an "adventure" and go travel definitely lends to the exciting adventurous mysterious guy type mystique you want to cultivate to be attractive to women.
My success was just beginning. I left the country, and within two weeks I had met a ton of other foreign students. I was hanging out with French, Germans, English, Irish, Spanish, Italian, Russian, and other foreign students. Within two weeks, I was making out with a Russian chick in her dorm. Later she ended this because she told me she had a fiance back in Russia. WTF.
After that ended (within days/week) I met a French/Algerian chick that lived in my dorm. She became my girlfriend, kind of. She was muslim, so she couldn't openly date me. She didn't go out and go to bars and stuff like I did. So basically we just hung out in her dorm whenever I wasn't out with my friends, and we made out. She wouldn't go beyond that because of her religious beliefs, but it was some of the hottest and best making out in my life. It was very "forbidden." Her family wouldn't have approved of her spending any time with a non-muslim. Eventually she felt too guilty, and she left me a note saying she didn't want to continue doing what we were doing. It was okay with me, since that freed me up to pursue the chicks I was hanging out with.
I had met my fiance at this point, and she knew what was going on with the muslim chick. Me and my fiance were just friends up until this point, but after the muslim chick broke up with me, I started pursuing my fiance. At this time, my fiance was not exactly new to this town, but she didn't have a lot of friends. I, on the other hand, had made a ton of friends since day one. When I invited her out, it was always a blast. She would come out to the bar and see me with 10-20 friends. I was Mr. Popular and Mr. Social. I was Mr. Party Time. Many of my friends were females. And my fiance knew I had been playing around with the Russian and the muslim girl since I had told her. The pre-selection effect I had going for me was huge.
Since nothing was sure with Ashley, I was actively hanging out and flirting with other girls too. There was a german chick that I thought was particularly cute that I was simultaneously trying to flirt with. I think in retrospect I could have definitely gotten something going with her as well.
Meanwhile, as I was out pursuing new girls, I was still hanging out with my muslim ex-girlfriend on the evenings when I wasn't going out (I was going out more nights than I wasn't). She even changed her mind about breaking up with me. She said she regretted the letter, and that she missed me and cared about me, etc. She wanted to "get back together." I told her no, that it was best to stay friends since doing more was just making her feel guilty. So we continued to hang out sometimes, although less and less. I didn't make out with her after she broke up with me. We just talked, she would cook me dinner, etc. She would let me borrow and use her appliances. I didn't bring a space heater, a tv, a hot plate, etc with me from the states. My dorm room was completely empty and bare, but it didn't matter because anything of hers was mine. She would let me use anything and she would cook me dinner whenever I was around.
Eventually Ashley and I hooked up. It happened right before Christmas. She left town to go spend the Christmas holidays with her family. Almost everyone left town. I spent Christmas pretty much alone, but it wasn't too bad. I had time to read and write.
After Christmas vacation was over I was eager to see Ashley again. I spent an entire day drinking with friends before meeting her and a bunch of other people at a night club. What happened that night, according to my old logic, should have really messed things up for me and Ashley. But now I understand it was just another huge dose of pre-selection, making me even more attractive in her eyes. Basically we go to this night club, and my intention is to dance and make moves on Ashley. But there are other chicks there. And one chick that I was not particularly interested in was coming on to me very hard. I'll call her Carrie. While dancing Carrie basically grabbed me and started trying to make out with me on the dance floor. I was scared because I didn't want Ashley to see, thinking that would ruin things with her. At the same time, I was excited. The whole previous six months leading up to that moment was like I had stepped into some other man's life, some kind of lady's man that effortlessly was attracting women. So I kissed her back some for the fun, but I was still concerned about Ashley finding out. I don't remember now if she saw it with her own eyes, or just heard about it from someone, but she knew it happened. Did it ruin my chances with her? Did she get turned off that I had kissed another girl? Hell no. What happened was (and she's talked about it to me) she felt surprised and sad but the crux is that she felt like she wasn't good enough for me. She felt like she had lost out on the prize. I was the prize. She still wanted me, she was just upset and felt afraid that she wouldn't get me.
Well, I actually did prefer her, so I ended up ditching Carrie to go with Ashley. I went home with Ashley that night. We stayed together for the rest of the time I was in the country. Then I left. We broke up. But we eventually get back together. I'll save that for another post.
What follows is a tale of an average beta, with very little confidence, who unwittingly became very alpha for about a year. The changes in my interactions with women were huge.
I was never good with women. I was terrified of them. I didn't know how to talk to them. I couldn't be direct. It would take me months of talking to a girl and hanging out with her before I would get the nerve to awkwardly try to kiss her, which would fail horribly because after such a long wait I was already firmly locked into her friend zone.
Then, I planned to do a study abroad. I was going to leave the country at the end of the summer, and spend a semester in Europe. Magically, I became imbued with outcome indifference. I wasn't nervous about anything that was happening that summer because I knew I was about to take off. I wasn't stressed when I was talking to girls. I was still shy and had many other troubles, but I had made a huge leap in confidence, indifference, aloofness. I dated one girl for a while. I never quite made a move on her (showing that I was still behind the curve) but the fact that I went on a few dates was huge for me.
Then one night at a party I attracted one girl. By the end of the night, I had lost interest in her, but she was clearly interested in me. She was mine for the taking. A friend actually took quite a liking to her, and so I left them to talk. They've been dating for years now, but that first night, she was very attracted to me. She's since said that if I had wanted to fuck her that night, I could have.
Before I left the country I had a going away party at a friend's apartment. Before this party I had kissed something like 3 girls in my life, and had made out with 2. Then at my going away party, I made out with two chicks in one night. My friends had a hammock on their balcony, and I spent quite a while making out with a friend of a friend in this hammock. She had to the leave the party a little later, I don't quite remember why. After she left, a friend's sister started talking to me a lot, acting very interested. She lived in a dorm nearby. I walked her there, and we made out in her dorm. I probably could have escalated, but as I mentioned, I had no experience with women, I was still a virgin, and I was nervous. So we made out a while, and I left and went back to the party.
I didn't understand then what was going on. But clearly the fact that I was about to leave, and was just having fun and not worried about the consequences made a huge difference in how chicks were seeing me, and made a huge difference in how I must have been behaving towards them. Plus, the fact that I was about to go on an "adventure" and go travel definitely lends to the exciting adventurous mysterious guy type mystique you want to cultivate to be attractive to women.
My success was just beginning. I left the country, and within two weeks I had met a ton of other foreign students. I was hanging out with French, Germans, English, Irish, Spanish, Italian, Russian, and other foreign students. Within two weeks, I was making out with a Russian chick in her dorm. Later she ended this because she told me she had a fiance back in Russia. WTF.
After that ended (within days/week) I met a French/Algerian chick that lived in my dorm. She became my girlfriend, kind of. She was muslim, so she couldn't openly date me. She didn't go out and go to bars and stuff like I did. So basically we just hung out in her dorm whenever I wasn't out with my friends, and we made out. She wouldn't go beyond that because of her religious beliefs, but it was some of the hottest and best making out in my life. It was very "forbidden." Her family wouldn't have approved of her spending any time with a non-muslim. Eventually she felt too guilty, and she left me a note saying she didn't want to continue doing what we were doing. It was okay with me, since that freed me up to pursue the chicks I was hanging out with.
I had met my fiance at this point, and she knew what was going on with the muslim chick. Me and my fiance were just friends up until this point, but after the muslim chick broke up with me, I started pursuing my fiance. At this time, my fiance was not exactly new to this town, but she didn't have a lot of friends. I, on the other hand, had made a ton of friends since day one. When I invited her out, it was always a blast. She would come out to the bar and see me with 10-20 friends. I was Mr. Popular and Mr. Social. I was Mr. Party Time. Many of my friends were females. And my fiance knew I had been playing around with the Russian and the muslim girl since I had told her. The pre-selection effect I had going for me was huge.
Since nothing was sure with Ashley, I was actively hanging out and flirting with other girls too. There was a german chick that I thought was particularly cute that I was simultaneously trying to flirt with. I think in retrospect I could have definitely gotten something going with her as well.
Meanwhile, as I was out pursuing new girls, I was still hanging out with my muslim ex-girlfriend on the evenings when I wasn't going out (I was going out more nights than I wasn't). She even changed her mind about breaking up with me. She said she regretted the letter, and that she missed me and cared about me, etc. She wanted to "get back together." I told her no, that it was best to stay friends since doing more was just making her feel guilty. So we continued to hang out sometimes, although less and less. I didn't make out with her after she broke up with me. We just talked, she would cook me dinner, etc. She would let me borrow and use her appliances. I didn't bring a space heater, a tv, a hot plate, etc with me from the states. My dorm room was completely empty and bare, but it didn't matter because anything of hers was mine. She would let me use anything and she would cook me dinner whenever I was around.
Eventually Ashley and I hooked up. It happened right before Christmas. She left town to go spend the Christmas holidays with her family. Almost everyone left town. I spent Christmas pretty much alone, but it wasn't too bad. I had time to read and write.
After Christmas vacation was over I was eager to see Ashley again. I spent an entire day drinking with friends before meeting her and a bunch of other people at a night club. What happened that night, according to my old logic, should have really messed things up for me and Ashley. But now I understand it was just another huge dose of pre-selection, making me even more attractive in her eyes. Basically we go to this night club, and my intention is to dance and make moves on Ashley. But there are other chicks there. And one chick that I was not particularly interested in was coming on to me very hard. I'll call her Carrie. While dancing Carrie basically grabbed me and started trying to make out with me on the dance floor. I was scared because I didn't want Ashley to see, thinking that would ruin things with her. At the same time, I was excited. The whole previous six months leading up to that moment was like I had stepped into some other man's life, some kind of lady's man that effortlessly was attracting women. So I kissed her back some for the fun, but I was still concerned about Ashley finding out. I don't remember now if she saw it with her own eyes, or just heard about it from someone, but she knew it happened. Did it ruin my chances with her? Did she get turned off that I had kissed another girl? Hell no. What happened was (and she's talked about it to me) she felt surprised and sad but the crux is that she felt like she wasn't good enough for me. She felt like she had lost out on the prize. I was the prize. She still wanted me, she was just upset and felt afraid that she wouldn't get me.
Well, I actually did prefer her, so I ended up ditching Carrie to go with Ashley. I went home with Ashley that night. We stayed together for the rest of the time I was in the country. Then I left. We broke up. But we eventually get back together. I'll save that for another post.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Facial Hair
Facial hair preferences are highly subjective and differ a great deal from woman to woman but also from one country to another. In the United States, it seems most woman are more tolerant of facial hair on men than women in Europe.
I'm not going to propose any fast and easy rules to learn, but rather I'll just stress to be highly cognizant of the fashion norms of your area, and the quality of your own facial hair. Unfortunately for me, I grew up from a very young age admiring beards and mutton chops, and mustaches of manly men in popular fiction, only to grow up to have very weak facial hair. I stubbornly tried to wear facial hair for a long time despite the way it looked on me, but now I've wised up to the fact that for me, I just look a lot better clean shaven.
So be honest with yourself about how your facial hair looks. Get women's opinions of how different styles look on your face and with your clothes. And don't be afraid to change something that might for you be a bit of a sacred cow. You may be comfortable wearing a goatee because that's what you've done for years, but if you're more handsome clean shaven, just go with that.
This can be one of those little changes that make a huge difference in your appearance. And it could go either way. Maybe it's the little bit of hair you should grow that will push your look over the edge. Maybe it's the little bit of hair you need to man up and shave off to clean your look up. What makes you feel the most confident could be the best choice, or you may find that changing something can bring a flood of compliments that will boost your confidence beyond what it was when you were doing your standard thing.
Friday, February 24, 2012
One Day At A Time
When new to running relationship game, you should be prepared to screw up, know that you screwed up, but maintain frame and don't apologize. These early days and weeks of learning game have not been easy. Several times I've gone astray, been overly angry or mean, pulled back on the beta too much instead of leaving it and applying more alpha, etc. There's been many mistakes, but the one thing I've stuck to is no apologies.
Tomorrow is another day and another chance. I think that apologizing for times when I'm a jerk would be more damaging than her learning that every once in a while she has to tolerate behavior she doesn't like. I've dealt with her being an occasional jerk for years. Part of this is a personal calculation based on my relationship history. If' you're naturally a jerk, you might need to do some apologizing if you overstep the bounds. But me on the other hand, I've been a sad push-over, a supplicating pansy, a passive beta wussy, a bend-over-backwards and put up with all kinds of nonsense kind of boyfriend for the last couple years. So I think the shock factor of being a jerk occasionally is probably going to do me more good than the harm I would do by apologizing for the slightest misstep.
I've been walking on eggshells for the longest time already. I've been the one living in literal fear of her mood swings. I think if things swing a little back the other way a bit, and she feels slightly unsure of how I'll react sometimes, that is a bit better than going back to the apologizing and supplicating.
Plus, I don't take all the blame for "going overboard." Part of it is her "fault" as well. She's so unused to me being assertive that she had a bad reaction to it the first couple times. I can say that for at least two years I've asserted myself or stated strong preferences close to zero times. Part of it is my easy-going, happy with whatever personality, part of it is the training I've received through life that I should cede to whatever the woman wants.So now that I am suddenly assertive and stating strong preferences, what would have been a simple situation where I am assertive, she accepts and follows has turned into: I act assertive, she pushes back, I stand my ground, she gets angry/raises her voice, I raise my voice/yell/act like a jerk. As she adjusts to me being more assertive, and begins to naturally follow my lead, I won't need to overact to achieve little things.
The goal is to be the calm, in control, masterful alpha male. But as I calibrate to that, I've got to accept occasional mistakes, with no apologies, and take it one day at a time.
Tomorrow is another day and another chance. I think that apologizing for times when I'm a jerk would be more damaging than her learning that every once in a while she has to tolerate behavior she doesn't like. I've dealt with her being an occasional jerk for years. Part of this is a personal calculation based on my relationship history. If' you're naturally a jerk, you might need to do some apologizing if you overstep the bounds. But me on the other hand, I've been a sad push-over, a supplicating pansy, a passive beta wussy, a bend-over-backwards and put up with all kinds of nonsense kind of boyfriend for the last couple years. So I think the shock factor of being a jerk occasionally is probably going to do me more good than the harm I would do by apologizing for the slightest misstep.
I've been walking on eggshells for the longest time already. I've been the one living in literal fear of her mood swings. I think if things swing a little back the other way a bit, and she feels slightly unsure of how I'll react sometimes, that is a bit better than going back to the apologizing and supplicating.
Plus, I don't take all the blame for "going overboard." Part of it is her "fault" as well. She's so unused to me being assertive that she had a bad reaction to it the first couple times. I can say that for at least two years I've asserted myself or stated strong preferences close to zero times. Part of it is my easy-going, happy with whatever personality, part of it is the training I've received through life that I should cede to whatever the woman wants.So now that I am suddenly assertive and stating strong preferences, what would have been a simple situation where I am assertive, she accepts and follows has turned into: I act assertive, she pushes back, I stand my ground, she gets angry/raises her voice, I raise my voice/yell/act like a jerk. As she adjusts to me being more assertive, and begins to naturally follow my lead, I won't need to overact to achieve little things.
The goal is to be the calm, in control, masterful alpha male. But as I calibrate to that, I've got to accept occasional mistakes, with no apologies, and take it one day at a time.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Little Touches to Your Appearance Can Make All the Difference
From the very first days of my relationship with my fiance, she's been trying to change how I dress. I used to be very hostile to this, and try to fight it every inch of the way. I realize now it's actually a blessing in disguise. I've got someone way more in touch with fashion and with what women find attractive, giving me personal advice for free, and even willing to throw in some cash to get me dressing better.
Over the last three years my entire wardrobe has been completely transformed by my fiance. I used to dress like a slob, wore clothes sized XL even though I'm definitely more of a S or M. Had no idea how to match things. I wore flannel jackets all the time. Now I look like kind of a classy guy. I wear real shoes and not sneakers. My pants and jeans fit. I wear name brands. I wear sweaters that fit my body and couldn't hold another 1 or 2 guys in them. I look like a different person.
Nonetheless, there were two things that I felt were minor touches that I really didn't want to modify. I was too lazy to put in contact lenses every morning, so I always wore glasses. The second thing was, I refused to put gel in my hair. It just felt too gay to me and I didn't feel like myself.
However, over the last month and a half, I've started wearing my contacts every weekday, and putting gel in my hair nearly everyday. Changing these two small things have made a huge difference. Not only is my fiance saying I look way better, but other females I'm around have definitely taken notice. Two "small" touches really finished my transformation. It takes me an extra five minutes each morning to put in my contacts and throw some gel in my hair, but the effects last all day. I get a whole day boost in how attractive and confident I look. Everyone that sees me sees that I took an extra five minutes to look that much better. It's a good thing.
Next step: get a good cologne.
Over the last three years my entire wardrobe has been completely transformed by my fiance. I used to dress like a slob, wore clothes sized XL even though I'm definitely more of a S or M. Had no idea how to match things. I wore flannel jackets all the time. Now I look like kind of a classy guy. I wear real shoes and not sneakers. My pants and jeans fit. I wear name brands. I wear sweaters that fit my body and couldn't hold another 1 or 2 guys in them. I look like a different person.
Nonetheless, there were two things that I felt were minor touches that I really didn't want to modify. I was too lazy to put in contact lenses every morning, so I always wore glasses. The second thing was, I refused to put gel in my hair. It just felt too gay to me and I didn't feel like myself.
However, over the last month and a half, I've started wearing my contacts every weekday, and putting gel in my hair nearly everyday. Changing these two small things have made a huge difference. Not only is my fiance saying I look way better, but other females I'm around have definitely taken notice. Two "small" touches really finished my transformation. It takes me an extra five minutes each morning to put in my contacts and throw some gel in my hair, but the effects last all day. I get a whole day boost in how attractive and confident I look. Everyone that sees me sees that I took an extra five minutes to look that much better. It's a good thing.
Next step: get a good cologne.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Eye Contact- When to Hold and When to Fold
I've spent some time reading about the subject of eye contact and social dominance. In general, you want to be the one who's holding eye contact the longest. In general, the first person to look down or away--the first person to avert their gaze is submitting to the gaze of the other. This should be applied to just about any social interaction. Roissy said every time you're with a women it's a staring contest that you must win. I agree with this in general, although something happened to me the other night and I think it's worth pointing out, because just locking eyes with someone is not always the way to be the most dominant.
The other night, after dinner, with Ashley, she was asking me some questions, and I realize now that I was sort of being interrogated in a way. She was looking for dishonesty. At the time, all I realized was that she was holding eye contact, so I felt like I needed to hold eye contact longer to be the more dominant one. However, what I see now was that by holding eye contact, I was yielding to her frame. I was accepting to be interrogated by her. I was submitting to her examination. If you detect that it's the woman initiating a staring contest, playing along is following her lead, going along with her frame, and even if you win, still seems less dominant to me.
What should I have done? How do you get out of a staring contest without explicitly losing? I think what you must do is a blink + lateral break with head movement. You don't just move your eyes away or down. You go from staring into their eyes, to a slow blink (very indifferent kind of behavior. You're not even concerned with them), then you move your whole head/body away. You're not averting your eyes, you're turning all of your body and all of your attention away. You're changing the subject. You don't have to play their game or submit to their evaluation.
The other night, after dinner, with Ashley, she was asking me some questions, and I realize now that I was sort of being interrogated in a way. She was looking for dishonesty. At the time, all I realized was that she was holding eye contact, so I felt like I needed to hold eye contact longer to be the more dominant one. However, what I see now was that by holding eye contact, I was yielding to her frame. I was accepting to be interrogated by her. I was submitting to her examination. If you detect that it's the woman initiating a staring contest, playing along is following her lead, going along with her frame, and even if you win, still seems less dominant to me.
What should I have done? How do you get out of a staring contest without explicitly losing? I think what you must do is a blink + lateral break with head movement. You don't just move your eyes away or down. You go from staring into their eyes, to a slow blink (very indifferent kind of behavior. You're not even concerned with them), then you move your whole head/body away. You're not averting your eyes, you're turning all of your body and all of your attention away. You're changing the subject. You don't have to play their game or submit to their evaluation.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Lifting Weights is REALLY Important
If you want to be a man, you don't have to look like Ronnie Coleman or Jay Cutler, but you do need to pump some iron. If you're not used to lifting weights, this probably sounds ridiculous to you. If you are used to lifting weights, than you know exactly what I'm talking about and you're not going to be second guessing this entry. Lifting weights will change how you feel in a way that no other kind of exercise can match. I know this very well from personal experience. I do a wide variety of physical exercise. I can run for an hour through a very hilly city. I can swim for 45 minutes. These kinds of exercise make you feel great. But lift some weights and that will make you feel like a man.
Lifting weights will make you feel great, but there will also be an edginess to it. It will make you feel aggressive and sexual. That means you're getting a testosterone boost that going for a jog or a swim can't match. After I left weights, I quite literally walk around feeling like punching most guys in the face. And I walk around wanting to drag most women back to the cave with me. It's a very raw, very animalistic feeling. And it's addictive.
I love the way I feel after a jog, and I love the way I feel after a good swim, but it can't match the feeling after lifting some weights. Lift some weights, and you'll feel powerful. Doesn't matter if you're objectively strong or not. Maybe there's 100 other guys in the gym, and you're lifting the least amount of weight of any of them. It doesn't matter. After you push your body to your personal limits, you'll feel stronger, more powerful, and more like a man. Pump some iron, and you'll feel like this.
Weights will change you in a more obvious way than other forms of exercise. If you're overweight, there's no doubt that you need a lot of aerobic exercise to burn the fat off. But if weight isn't the main problem, which is my case, you won't see a significant difference in the mirror after running or swimming. Just a short 3 or 4 weeks of consistent lifting, on the other hand, can make a big difference. After 4 weeks of lifting and I can see some major differences in my physique.
A lot of guys make the mistake of placing too much emphasis on their biceps. Curls are definitely an important exercise, but what you really want to focus on is two things. First, the exercises that work the biggest muscle groups, and therefore cause the biggest release of testosterone. This means squats, dead lifts, and bench press. The second focus is on exercises that will transform your silhouette. You want the classical masculine body shape. You want wide shoulders, small waist. Your upper body should look like an upside down triangle. So that means you want to always work your shoulders, traps, lats, and abs.
If you need to know about how to properly do these things, the only bodybuilding book you need is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. My dad owned this book and it eventually fell to pieces so much that he, myself, and my brothers looked at it. Then I got a copy and it too got so heavily used it fell apart again and I had to put whole punch the pages and put it in a binder. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I look like Arnold, I did more reading than lifting. But I'm heavily armed with information, and whenever I have the motivation I can design myself a balanced workout routine and know all the right muscles I need to work and how to work them to get the look I'm after. Go do the same.
Lifting weights will make you feel great, but there will also be an edginess to it. It will make you feel aggressive and sexual. That means you're getting a testosterone boost that going for a jog or a swim can't match. After I left weights, I quite literally walk around feeling like punching most guys in the face. And I walk around wanting to drag most women back to the cave with me. It's a very raw, very animalistic feeling. And it's addictive.
I love the way I feel after a jog, and I love the way I feel after a good swim, but it can't match the feeling after lifting some weights. Lift some weights, and you'll feel powerful. Doesn't matter if you're objectively strong or not. Maybe there's 100 other guys in the gym, and you're lifting the least amount of weight of any of them. It doesn't matter. After you push your body to your personal limits, you'll feel stronger, more powerful, and more like a man. Pump some iron, and you'll feel like this.
Weights will change you in a more obvious way than other forms of exercise. If you're overweight, there's no doubt that you need a lot of aerobic exercise to burn the fat off. But if weight isn't the main problem, which is my case, you won't see a significant difference in the mirror after running or swimming. Just a short 3 or 4 weeks of consistent lifting, on the other hand, can make a big difference. After 4 weeks of lifting and I can see some major differences in my physique.
A lot of guys make the mistake of placing too much emphasis on their biceps. Curls are definitely an important exercise, but what you really want to focus on is two things. First, the exercises that work the biggest muscle groups, and therefore cause the biggest release of testosterone. This means squats, dead lifts, and bench press. The second focus is on exercises that will transform your silhouette. You want the classical masculine body shape. You want wide shoulders, small waist. Your upper body should look like an upside down triangle. So that means you want to always work your shoulders, traps, lats, and abs.
If you need to know about how to properly do these things, the only bodybuilding book you need is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. My dad owned this book and it eventually fell to pieces so much that he, myself, and my brothers looked at it. Then I got a copy and it too got so heavily used it fell apart again and I had to put whole punch the pages and put it in a binder. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I look like Arnold, I did more reading than lifting. But I'm heavily armed with information, and whenever I have the motivation I can design myself a balanced workout routine and know all the right muscles I need to work and how to work them to get the look I'm after. Go do the same.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Be the Man with the Plan
This is one of the things that Athol says a lot. Always have a plan. I've realized just how important it is.
If you've been a beta and you're in the habit of following your woman's lead, it's going to take quite a bit of work to reverse this trend. The most difficult and tiring aspects for me has been the need to always have a plan, or act like I've had a plan. I'm a very easy going person. I'm usually not thinking too far ahead. And, for the most part, it's not necessary. Every day kind of follows a similar pattern, and you don't usually stand to gain much by planning what's for dinner while you're still eating breakfast. Unfortunately, at least with my woman, I have to have a plan.
Ashley is always wanting to know what I'm going to be doing next. And since I'm generally going with the flow, and not to worried about what I'll be doing in 2 hours, my usual response has always been "Uh I don't know. Why do you have something planned?" Or something along these lines. This always puts the woman in the driver's seat. It's bad. Even when I don't have a plan, I've got to come up with different answers.
Sometimes this means learning to pre-empt her questions and become the one asking the questions. Sometimes it means anticipating her usual questions and just announcing what my plan is in advance, then doing it. Sometimes it means you get caught without a plan. One of those annoying, unnecessary questions comes: it's 3 hours before dinner time but she asks what I have in mind and what I'm doing after dinner. I haven't given it a damn thought at all. Here's the new response pattern. Ignore the question the first time. Don't respond. This works especially well when you're in different rooms. Ashley has an annoying habit of talking to me from the other end of the apartment. Now I just ignore it. Gives me time to think, and teaches her that if she has something important to discuss, she can move her ass and come talk to me. So, ignore the first time, give yourself time to think. Then state whatever you come up with as though you had already thought of it a long time ago. "I want mexican tonight and then I'll be going to the library to study." Doesn't matter what you say, just state it with authority.
If she gives you crap about any of it, don't back down. You're a man, you're going to do what you want to do. She can follow you or fuck off. Her choice. But either way, it won't change or affect you.
If you've been a beta and you're in the habit of following your woman's lead, it's going to take quite a bit of work to reverse this trend. The most difficult and tiring aspects for me has been the need to always have a plan, or act like I've had a plan. I'm a very easy going person. I'm usually not thinking too far ahead. And, for the most part, it's not necessary. Every day kind of follows a similar pattern, and you don't usually stand to gain much by planning what's for dinner while you're still eating breakfast. Unfortunately, at least with my woman, I have to have a plan.
Ashley is always wanting to know what I'm going to be doing next. And since I'm generally going with the flow, and not to worried about what I'll be doing in 2 hours, my usual response has always been "Uh I don't know. Why do you have something planned?" Or something along these lines. This always puts the woman in the driver's seat. It's bad. Even when I don't have a plan, I've got to come up with different answers.
Sometimes this means learning to pre-empt her questions and become the one asking the questions. Sometimes it means anticipating her usual questions and just announcing what my plan is in advance, then doing it. Sometimes it means you get caught without a plan. One of those annoying, unnecessary questions comes: it's 3 hours before dinner time but she asks what I have in mind and what I'm doing after dinner. I haven't given it a damn thought at all. Here's the new response pattern. Ignore the question the first time. Don't respond. This works especially well when you're in different rooms. Ashley has an annoying habit of talking to me from the other end of the apartment. Now I just ignore it. Gives me time to think, and teaches her that if she has something important to discuss, she can move her ass and come talk to me. So, ignore the first time, give yourself time to think. Then state whatever you come up with as though you had already thought of it a long time ago. "I want mexican tonight and then I'll be going to the library to study." Doesn't matter what you say, just state it with authority.
If she gives you crap about any of it, don't back down. You're a man, you're going to do what you want to do. She can follow you or fuck off. Her choice. But either way, it won't change or affect you.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
No Game Without Mindfulness
About a year ago I got interested in mindfulness and Buddhist meditation. I've meditated more or less regularly for the last year (basically long on spells followed by some drop offs before picking it back up again. Although always returning to mindfulness in difficult moments, when trying to remain calm, etc). I've bought and read about a dozen books on buddhism and meditation, and have found the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, and Bhante Henepola Gunaratana to be the most helpful and enlightening.
As I've learned about Game I've realized that probably the most important skill for Game is mindfulness itself. Without mindfulness, you get lost in the moment, and you fall into your old bad habits. Mindfulness is the energy that keeps you doing what you ought to be doing.
Without mindfulness, what hope do you have of maintaining alpha male body language all day long? As soon as you start thinking of other things, before you realize it, before you are cognizant of what you're doing, your're going to be hunching your shoulders, crossing your legs and arms, leaning forward.
Without mindfulness, what hope do you have of maintaining dominant eye contact? Before you know it you'll fall back into your old ways, avoiding eye contact, looking down, nodding downward, looking weak.
Without mindfulness, how will your game remain tight? How can you remember to neg properly, kino, avoid showing any neediness, remember to be cocky and arrogant, act like you're the prize, be watchful and vigilant for IOIs and IODs, etc?
Without mindfulness, you have little hope of catching and being aware of your own emotions as they pop up, and taking care of them in the appropriate way. Otherwise it will start to come through and you won't look outcome-indifferent like you want to be. You have to constantly be aware of your own state as well as the person you're interacting with.
I wish I would have learned about Game a lot sooner in my life. But I'm sure that Game can only be so effective if you've not learned to cultivate mindfulness throughout every moment of the day.
For anyone hoping to make any positive changes to their life, whether it's running game to improve your interactions with women or anything else, I think the most invaluable first step for any self-improvement is going to be to start to meditate and cultivate mindfulness.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Girls will stay with Alpha Cheaters Part 2
Another story from my life showing that girls can't tolerate leaving an alpha male, even if he cheats on them.
This is actually my fiance's cousin Annie and her long time boyfriend Mike. I hope I'll be able to spend some more time around Mike in the future, because he's a spectacle to behold. Read all those descriptions of alpha male body language, and this guy does all of it. He's a very natural alpha male. He's tall, thick (but not fat), he moves slowly and fluidly, he takes up space, his chest is open and out there, shoulders wide and relaxed, head tilted up, you name it. I found myself taking mental notes of how he acted when we were at a family get together the other day. Perfect natural alpha male body language.
I don't know either Annie or Mike all that well, this story comes from my fiance telling me. Basically while Annie was out of town for an extended period of time, Mike slept with some other chick. Whether it happened many times or just once I cannot say, and whether or not it really was just one chick I cannot say. In any case, Mike told Annie about the one incident. Did she leave him? No. Again, anyone already familiar to game, le chateau, pua, none of this is surprising. I'm just putting my anecdotes out there. I used to find all of this bizarre behavior quite mysterious, but it all makes sense now.
This is actually my fiance's cousin Annie and her long time boyfriend Mike. I hope I'll be able to spend some more time around Mike in the future, because he's a spectacle to behold. Read all those descriptions of alpha male body language, and this guy does all of it. He's a very natural alpha male. He's tall, thick (but not fat), he moves slowly and fluidly, he takes up space, his chest is open and out there, shoulders wide and relaxed, head tilted up, you name it. I found myself taking mental notes of how he acted when we were at a family get together the other day. Perfect natural alpha male body language.
I don't know either Annie or Mike all that well, this story comes from my fiance telling me. Basically while Annie was out of town for an extended period of time, Mike slept with some other chick. Whether it happened many times or just once I cannot say, and whether or not it really was just one chick I cannot say. In any case, Mike told Annie about the one incident. Did she leave him? No. Again, anyone already familiar to game, le chateau, pua, none of this is surprising. I'm just putting my anecdotes out there. I used to find all of this bizarre behavior quite mysterious, but it all makes sense now.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Women aren't the caring nurturers they claim to be
Women always like to claim that they're more sensitive than men, that they're nurturers, that they are empathetic and sympathetic. But I'm starting to see that it's a big fat lie.
It's true that, in general, mothers are extraordinary nurturers of their OWN CHILDREN and their own GRANDCHILDREN. But that's about it. If you've got a crush on some chick and start doing nice things for her, do you think you'll see any affection, nurturing, empathy, or sympathy? Hell no. Even if you're in a relationship with a woman, it's difficult when you get sick. They'll bring you some medicine or some kleenexs or a hot tea with honey and make a big show of it, and rub your head and say something like "Oh I LOVE taking care of my HONEY!" But it never lasts long like this. If you're really sick, and you're not better within a few hours/day, any woman will become increasingly disgusted by you. Women hate weakness, and if they start to think they've mistakenly coupled up with a weakling, they will start to show you nothing but contempt and hatred, not empathy or care.
The more time you spend with a woman, the more she'll try to turn you into her caretaker. Before you know it, you'll be running her little errands, doing her little chores, bringing her stuff in bed, going to get her something even if she's physically closer to it than you are, and she'll be wholly unwilling to return any of the same caring gestures towards you. Women will try to turn you into their personal servant. Don't let it happen.
It's true that, in general, mothers are extraordinary nurturers of their OWN CHILDREN and their own GRANDCHILDREN. But that's about it. If you've got a crush on some chick and start doing nice things for her, do you think you'll see any affection, nurturing, empathy, or sympathy? Hell no. Even if you're in a relationship with a woman, it's difficult when you get sick. They'll bring you some medicine or some kleenexs or a hot tea with honey and make a big show of it, and rub your head and say something like "Oh I LOVE taking care of my HONEY!" But it never lasts long like this. If you're really sick, and you're not better within a few hours/day, any woman will become increasingly disgusted by you. Women hate weakness, and if they start to think they've mistakenly coupled up with a weakling, they will start to show you nothing but contempt and hatred, not empathy or care.
The more time you spend with a woman, the more she'll try to turn you into her caretaker. Before you know it, you'll be running her little errands, doing her little chores, bringing her stuff in bed, going to get her something even if she's physically closer to it than you are, and she'll be wholly unwilling to return any of the same caring gestures towards you. Women will try to turn you into their personal servant. Don't let it happen.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Ignore her, and she'll follow you around like a loyal dog
I'm a student, and in addition to gaming my fiance, I've started gaming my female classmates as well. There's one girl in particular that I'm sure likes me quite a bit now. We'll call her Sally. My game seems to be working pretty well on her. I get a lot of IOIs from her, and she always seems happy to see and talk to me.
Recently, I went to a party with a ton of people. Sally was there as well. When I got there, she was being hit on by a couple a guys. She's a pretty good looking chick. I could tell she wasn't interested in these other guys at all. They were coming on very direct, telegraphing interest, looking kind of desperate and pathetic in my point of view. When I got in the room it took just a couple seconds for her to ditch the guys that were talking to her and she came up to me. I said hi but didn't give her any special attention whatsoever. Mostly kept talking to other people. Before long I left the room to go talk to people elsewhere.
Before too long, she came along and found me. There was some guy that I hadn't met before, and we started talking. As long as there was a man to talk to, I would talk to him and totally ignore the fact that Sally was there. She would laugh at all my jokes that I was telling to the guy, and I would barely glance at her acknowledging that she was even there kind of part of the conversation. This continued the whole night. The more I ignored her and talked to other people, the more she followed me around and acted desperate for my attention.
I'm sure if I had wanted to do something with Sally I could have this night. I'm not going to do that, I want to continue gaming my fiance and get that relationship back to how it should be. But in any case, knowing how to deal with women is making me way more confident. If things don't work out with one, there's always another that you can game and make fall in love with you.
Recently, I went to a party with a ton of people. Sally was there as well. When I got there, she was being hit on by a couple a guys. She's a pretty good looking chick. I could tell she wasn't interested in these other guys at all. They were coming on very direct, telegraphing interest, looking kind of desperate and pathetic in my point of view. When I got in the room it took just a couple seconds for her to ditch the guys that were talking to her and she came up to me. I said hi but didn't give her any special attention whatsoever. Mostly kept talking to other people. Before long I left the room to go talk to people elsewhere.
Before too long, she came along and found me. There was some guy that I hadn't met before, and we started talking. As long as there was a man to talk to, I would talk to him and totally ignore the fact that Sally was there. She would laugh at all my jokes that I was telling to the guy, and I would barely glance at her acknowledging that she was even there kind of part of the conversation. This continued the whole night. The more I ignored her and talked to other people, the more she followed me around and acted desperate for my attention.
I'm sure if I had wanted to do something with Sally I could have this night. I'm not going to do that, I want to continue gaming my fiance and get that relationship back to how it should be. But in any case, knowing how to deal with women is making me way more confident. If things don't work out with one, there's always another that you can game and make fall in love with you.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Bread Incident
A few weeks ago, me forgetting to buy bread turned into a shitstorm. Ashley, my fiance, started yelling and throwing a big fit. I told her to calm down and quit throwing things out of proportions. She doesn't calm down. Eventually she says she's gonna leave and she stomps off and leaves the apartment. I do NOT go after her. I just chill in the apartment and let her freeze her ass off outside. She comes back a bit later. She's still mad, doesn't apologize for acting ridiculously. Goes into the bedroom. I stay in the office. An hour goes by.
She comes out, goes into the kitchen and starts cooking. I go look after a while to see what she's making, and I see she only set one place at the table, and was only cooking one fish for her. I yell at her for not cooking for me as well. I go back to the office. Think a little bit. Try to decide what to do. Do I go meekly cook myself something for dinner? Do I stand for this? I decide no. So I decide to leave to go eat out on my own, and I figure I'll probably go out after that and come back noisily around 2:00AM. I leave the apartment. She comes running after me.
On the sidewalk she catches up to me and asks where I'm going. I say "Wherever I want." She says I should come back since it's cold and snowing. I ask if she's done acting crazy. She answers back with a question (she's a tough cookie, good at maintaining frame. I'm going to have to be very good to get her under control.) Luckily I am good, and when she answers me back with a question I just turn my back and start walking away again. As I'm turned away she finally breaks down and cedes. She hollers "Yes I'm done (acting crazy)."
I go back home, I make sure to walk in front so it's not like she's leading me back home. She shares her fish and stuff for dinner. She's calm and well behaved the rest of the night. Seems like a decent victory. In the old days I would have just let her berate me over some fucking bread. I would have just rolled over and taken it. This time, the night ended with her chasing after me trying to get me back.
She comes out, goes into the kitchen and starts cooking. I go look after a while to see what she's making, and I see she only set one place at the table, and was only cooking one fish for her. I yell at her for not cooking for me as well. I go back to the office. Think a little bit. Try to decide what to do. Do I go meekly cook myself something for dinner? Do I stand for this? I decide no. So I decide to leave to go eat out on my own, and I figure I'll probably go out after that and come back noisily around 2:00AM. I leave the apartment. She comes running after me.
On the sidewalk she catches up to me and asks where I'm going. I say "Wherever I want." She says I should come back since it's cold and snowing. I ask if she's done acting crazy. She answers back with a question (she's a tough cookie, good at maintaining frame. I'm going to have to be very good to get her under control.) Luckily I am good, and when she answers me back with a question I just turn my back and start walking away again. As I'm turned away she finally breaks down and cedes. She hollers "Yes I'm done (acting crazy)."
I go back home, I make sure to walk in front so it's not like she's leading me back home. She shares her fish and stuff for dinner. She's calm and well behaved the rest of the night. Seems like a decent victory. In the old days I would have just let her berate me over some fucking bread. I would have just rolled over and taken it. This time, the night ended with her chasing after me trying to get me back.
Beta Orbiter Since the Beginning
This post could just as well be titled "Beta Father Failings" since this behavior could have been corrected if my father was not himself a HUGE beta.
In third grade a developed a huge crush for a girl in my class. Like Charlie Brown, I fell for the red headed girl in class, and I was hopelessly in love. I sent her little notes asking her if she liked me, to which she replied "no." I was persistent. I was nice. I complimented her. Sent her more notes to see if she had changed her mind. She hadn't.
Christmas came and I told my parents I wanted to get this girl a Christmas present. Here's where my father could have stepped in and said "no, you don't need to be giving girls presents when they said they don't like you." But no one stopped me. If I remember right, my mom took me to the store, we bought some cheap little bracelet or something. Christmas day my mother actually drives me to this girl's house. I go up and ring the doorbell and give her the gift. Her parents have to tell her to say thanks.
Next year, same thing. Still no guidance from my beta nice guy father. I get driven over to her house, give her another gift. Does the girl ever decide she likes me? Hell no. In 4th and 5th grade this girl actually "goes out" with my best friend. "Going out" of course didn't really mean much at that age, just holding hands occasionally and passing notes back and forth. Did my best friend act nearly as nice to her as I had? No, of course not. He was barely interested. Yet he got her approval, and not me.
What's most embarrassing about remembering these stories from my youth is the fact that I never learned any lessons from them. I never changed my nice-guy ways.
In third grade a developed a huge crush for a girl in my class. Like Charlie Brown, I fell for the red headed girl in class, and I was hopelessly in love. I sent her little notes asking her if she liked me, to which she replied "no." I was persistent. I was nice. I complimented her. Sent her more notes to see if she had changed her mind. She hadn't.
Christmas came and I told my parents I wanted to get this girl a Christmas present. Here's where my father could have stepped in and said "no, you don't need to be giving girls presents when they said they don't like you." But no one stopped me. If I remember right, my mom took me to the store, we bought some cheap little bracelet or something. Christmas day my mother actually drives me to this girl's house. I go up and ring the doorbell and give her the gift. Her parents have to tell her to say thanks.
Next year, same thing. Still no guidance from my beta nice guy father. I get driven over to her house, give her another gift. Does the girl ever decide she likes me? Hell no. In 4th and 5th grade this girl actually "goes out" with my best friend. "Going out" of course didn't really mean much at that age, just holding hands occasionally and passing notes back and forth. Did my best friend act nearly as nice to her as I had? No, of course not. He was barely interested. Yet he got her approval, and not me.
What's most embarrassing about remembering these stories from my youth is the fact that I never learned any lessons from them. I never changed my nice-guy ways.
Friday, February 10, 2012
From Boyfriend to Beta Orbiter
My relationships with women have followed two patterns. First, there's the girls that I liked, but they never liked me back, because I was a beta from the very beginning. Second, the girls I liked, got into a relationship with them, then turned them off/disgusted them by a total lack of alpha traits.
The reason I was able to get into a relationship with girls is because sometimes in my life I uncharacteristically exhibited some alpha traits, totally by accident. Of course, once I got into a relationship with the girl, I tried to do everything I possibly could to try to please them. I would become attention and approval seeking, supplicating, spineless, no-initiative, beta loser. This applies just as well to my current relationship with my fiance. I'll explain in another post how when I met my fiance, I was very "accidentally" alpha. But this post I'll explain what happened to me in high school.
The story actually begins in middle school. There's a girl in my class named Claire (name is changed). Now, I don't even really have any memories of her from middle school. I didn't know she existed, despite the fact that we were in the same grade, and had some classes together. Clearly, she wasn't attractive enough at this time to get noticed by me. She, on the other hand, has very vivid memories of me from this time. She apparently sat a few desks ahead of me in some classes, and would spend the class period listening to me and my friends talk. I remember this class. I sat by 3 or 4 of my best friends. We would talk and joke around all the time. So, while being totally unaware that Claire was listening, I was displaying social proof, a sense of humor, likability, wit, and higher value than her, since I didn't even notice her existence.
Fast forward to high school, and basically the same situation is taking place. We've got some classes together, I talk and joke and laugh with my friends, mostly oblivious to her, although now I do know that she exists. I talk to her. I'm not particularly attracted to her in the beginning. I wasn't trying to get her. She developed a big crush on me. A mutual friend tells me that Claire likes me. I don't know what to do at first. I didn't have a girlfriend, although wanted one. I felt lonely. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to have someone and being in a relationship. So basically I end up and settled for a girl of a lower sex rank than me. Which could be great, because it would have meant that at least in the beginning, she would be very into me. But, I blew it.
I had zero experience with girls. I had never kissed a girl. They made me extremely nervous. I started "going out" with Claire. This meant going on little high school dates. We went to the zoo. We watched a movie at her house. We just hung out together. I was way too nervous to make any move whatsoever. Even though I knew that she liked me, I was way too scared to kiss her. My mom had pounded into my brain all this stuff about how "no means no" and if a girl ever says "no" to something I should stop immediately. I got it in my head that a "no" meant I had already done wrong. So I didn't want to do anything and risk hearing a "no" because I thought that meant that I had done some terrible thing. Of course, now I know, if you don't make a move, you lose. It's true that you should stop at "no," but hearing "no" doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. Sometimes it will be yes, sometimes it will be no, but you always have to try.
So we date like this for a little over a month. I'm Mr. Nice. I'm Mr. Romantic. I'm Mr. Communication. I'm Mr. Let's do whatever you want to do. I never kiss her. You know what happens next. She breaks up with me. Says she just sees me as a friend now. I was heartbroken. During the short time we were dating I went from being indifferent towards her to really really liking her a lot. I had fallen in love, despite the lack of physical intimacy, whereas the lack of me making it physical made her view me as nothing more than a friend. It's basically the opposite of what you're always told your whole life. We're told that women need to be in love to want to be physical, and that men need the physical intimacy, regardless of love. What we're always told is bullshit.
After she broke up with me, we resolved to remain friends. What really happened though, was that I continued to be in love with her, and so I became a hopeless beta orbiter to this girl for years. We talked all the time online. She was my drug. A part of me always thought that if I was nice enough, considerate enough, funny enough, honest enough, caring enough, she would change her mind. She never did. No surprise now. The principles of game make every aspect of this story easy to predict and understand. She started dating someone she viewed as a higher sex rank, but then that guy turned out to be utterly lacking all alpha qualities. Huge Turn Off. Deported into the friend/ beta orbiter zone.
The reason I was able to get into a relationship with girls is because sometimes in my life I uncharacteristically exhibited some alpha traits, totally by accident. Of course, once I got into a relationship with the girl, I tried to do everything I possibly could to try to please them. I would become attention and approval seeking, supplicating, spineless, no-initiative, beta loser. This applies just as well to my current relationship with my fiance. I'll explain in another post how when I met my fiance, I was very "accidentally" alpha. But this post I'll explain what happened to me in high school.
The story actually begins in middle school. There's a girl in my class named Claire (name is changed). Now, I don't even really have any memories of her from middle school. I didn't know she existed, despite the fact that we were in the same grade, and had some classes together. Clearly, she wasn't attractive enough at this time to get noticed by me. She, on the other hand, has very vivid memories of me from this time. She apparently sat a few desks ahead of me in some classes, and would spend the class period listening to me and my friends talk. I remember this class. I sat by 3 or 4 of my best friends. We would talk and joke around all the time. So, while being totally unaware that Claire was listening, I was displaying social proof, a sense of humor, likability, wit, and higher value than her, since I didn't even notice her existence.
Fast forward to high school, and basically the same situation is taking place. We've got some classes together, I talk and joke and laugh with my friends, mostly oblivious to her, although now I do know that she exists. I talk to her. I'm not particularly attracted to her in the beginning. I wasn't trying to get her. She developed a big crush on me. A mutual friend tells me that Claire likes me. I don't know what to do at first. I didn't have a girlfriend, although wanted one. I felt lonely. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to have someone and being in a relationship. So basically I end up and settled for a girl of a lower sex rank than me. Which could be great, because it would have meant that at least in the beginning, she would be very into me. But, I blew it.
I had zero experience with girls. I had never kissed a girl. They made me extremely nervous. I started "going out" with Claire. This meant going on little high school dates. We went to the zoo. We watched a movie at her house. We just hung out together. I was way too nervous to make any move whatsoever. Even though I knew that she liked me, I was way too scared to kiss her. My mom had pounded into my brain all this stuff about how "no means no" and if a girl ever says "no" to something I should stop immediately. I got it in my head that a "no" meant I had already done wrong. So I didn't want to do anything and risk hearing a "no" because I thought that meant that I had done some terrible thing. Of course, now I know, if you don't make a move, you lose. It's true that you should stop at "no," but hearing "no" doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. Sometimes it will be yes, sometimes it will be no, but you always have to try.
So we date like this for a little over a month. I'm Mr. Nice. I'm Mr. Romantic. I'm Mr. Communication. I'm Mr. Let's do whatever you want to do. I never kiss her. You know what happens next. She breaks up with me. Says she just sees me as a friend now. I was heartbroken. During the short time we were dating I went from being indifferent towards her to really really liking her a lot. I had fallen in love, despite the lack of physical intimacy, whereas the lack of me making it physical made her view me as nothing more than a friend. It's basically the opposite of what you're always told your whole life. We're told that women need to be in love to want to be physical, and that men need the physical intimacy, regardless of love. What we're always told is bullshit.
After she broke up with me, we resolved to remain friends. What really happened though, was that I continued to be in love with her, and so I became a hopeless beta orbiter to this girl for years. We talked all the time online. She was my drug. A part of me always thought that if I was nice enough, considerate enough, funny enough, honest enough, caring enough, she would change her mind. She never did. No surprise now. The principles of game make every aspect of this story easy to predict and understand. She started dating someone she viewed as a higher sex rank, but then that guy turned out to be utterly lacking all alpha qualities. Huge Turn Off. Deported into the friend/ beta orbiter zone.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Making Love Like a Beta
Is there a beta way to make love? I think so. There's two very beta sexual traits I can think of, one of which I've been guilty of, the other I haven't.
I think premature ejaculation is a definite beta trait. In the hunter/gatherer, small-community days, a lesser male, to pass on his genes, needed to be able to dispatch his goo as quickly as possible, lest the AMOG come along and pull him off the lady and give him a lashing. It's a definite in-and-out fast, avoid being detected, stealth sex strategy. I've never had this problem, but I wanted to throw it out there.
I also think that getting hyperexcited, moving fast and frantically is also beta. Again, in the hunter-gatherer days, the alpha male can take as long as he likes when he's nailing his ladies. No other male or female is going to dare to give him shit or try to stop him. His movements can and will be slow and deliberate. He can take his time and enjoy her body. I don't mean that once you get to actual intercourse it has to be slow, but I'm talking more about the buildup. And this could also be why women value foreplay so much. The alpha male, unchallenged, can take his time. The beta male has to rush and ejaculate as fast as he can to avoid getting "caught."
I've been guilty of a lack of foreplay. I have in the past wanted to get to penetration within a few moments. I move my hands quickly, feeling her breasts, then her abdomen, then her ass, back to her breasts, all in a fast frenzied manner. Almost "frantically" feeling up the girl, rather than slowly, deliberately, intentionally, savoring each sensation. Interpreting this through the alpha/beta evolutionary lens, I can understand why I've not always been the best in bed.
Next time I'm getting it on with my lady, I'm going to take my time, build up slowly. My movements will be calm, under control, deliberate. I'll lead. I'll be in charge. I won't be in a rush to penetrate. I'll tease her, and build up the anticipation. And when we do eventually get to penetration, then I'll go harder and rougher than I have usually dared. I will own her body.
I think premature ejaculation is a definite beta trait. In the hunter/gatherer, small-community days, a lesser male, to pass on his genes, needed to be able to dispatch his goo as quickly as possible, lest the AMOG come along and pull him off the lady and give him a lashing. It's a definite in-and-out fast, avoid being detected, stealth sex strategy. I've never had this problem, but I wanted to throw it out there.
I also think that getting hyperexcited, moving fast and frantically is also beta. Again, in the hunter-gatherer days, the alpha male can take as long as he likes when he's nailing his ladies. No other male or female is going to dare to give him shit or try to stop him. His movements can and will be slow and deliberate. He can take his time and enjoy her body. I don't mean that once you get to actual intercourse it has to be slow, but I'm talking more about the buildup. And this could also be why women value foreplay so much. The alpha male, unchallenged, can take his time. The beta male has to rush and ejaculate as fast as he can to avoid getting "caught."
I've been guilty of a lack of foreplay. I have in the past wanted to get to penetration within a few moments. I move my hands quickly, feeling her breasts, then her abdomen, then her ass, back to her breasts, all in a fast frenzied manner. Almost "frantically" feeling up the girl, rather than slowly, deliberately, intentionally, savoring each sensation. Interpreting this through the alpha/beta evolutionary lens, I can understand why I've not always been the best in bed.
Next time I'm getting it on with my lady, I'm going to take my time, build up slowly. My movements will be calm, under control, deliberate. I'll lead. I'll be in charge. I won't be in a rush to penetrate. I'll tease her, and build up the anticipation. And when we do eventually get to penetration, then I'll go harder and rougher than I have usually dared. I will own her body.
Alpha Cuddling
I like cuddling with my fiance, but now that I'm trying to apply the MAP to improve the hotness and frequency of sex, I decided I need to find a more alpha way to do it. First, I decided that even if I continue to cuddle, it should be reduced. It does seem at least slightly needy/beta, no matter how you do it. Here's how I decided to proceed with the reduced cuddling (Would love to have comments to see what others think).
- I will not initiate cuddling, but am willing to cuddle when she expresses an interest.
- I will not scoot toward her side of the bed and cuddle up against her.
- I will remain on my side of the bed (I've actually moved toward the center of the bed, and I'm trying to take more space, as alpha males own the space they're in, and take up as much space as they can with their bodies.
- I will remain laying on my back, straight up and down in the bed, and she will cuddle up to my body, my arm around her.
I think this is a more alpha/dominant way to cuddle. I'm the solid oak tree unmoving in the middle of the bed, she comes to me seeking shelter, comfort, and protection.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Girls Will Stay With Alpha Cheaters Part 1
I am not advocating cheating on a girlfriend or spouse, but the fact of the matter is, if a man is sufficiently alpha, the girl won't be able to leave him. I'm sure everyone can think of examples where girls stay with cheating jerks and no one in her circle of friends or family can understand why. Here are some examples from my social circle that prove game to be true. These stories used to be mysteries to me. Now all is clear.
A friend named Olivia (all names are changed) in a long term relationship with Adam. Two years ago Olivia got sick. The doctors still don't really know why, it's probably something genetic. She was in and out of the hospital, her liver function was all goofy. Adam during this time (and before, and since) was cheating on her. Not with any particular girl, but just whoever comes along, he'll sleep with if the opportunity arises. Since Adam and Olivia were in a long term relationship of several years, lived together, etc, you'd expect (if you're a beta like me) that he would be taking care of her and tending to her needs during this scary and difficult time. But mostly he just continued to party. When she would be home from the hospital, in bed feeling sick, he'd be out in the other room of the apartment with 20 friends, drinking and smoking pot.
This guy is not a domineering or authoritarian type alpha. He's the super social, happy go lucky, life of the party, aloof, consequences-be-damned, super-confident type alpha. He lives his exciting fun life, and Olivia is thrilled to be able to go along for the ride. His life didn't stop when she was sick, it just kept going.
I don't know him all that well to be honest, but I'm sure if his cheating ever comes up, he surely would never apologize (important alpha trait). He'd probably reframe, brush it off, accuse her of overreacting, and insist that there's nothing wrong with a little fun.
In the last two years they've both traveled (separately), doing study abroad programs in various places. I assumed that she would break up with him, have some flings when she was away from him, and basically move on. But it's not the case. Despite all his running around, she can't bear the thought of actually breaking up with him. This story provides support for several game principles. With this story in mind, read the 16 Commandments of Poon. Adam (almost certainly unconsciously) is living by several of these commandments. II Make her Jealous. III. Make your mission your priority (he's living his fun adventurous life, she can come along for the ride or not, and she of course wants to). IV. He's living by his own rules. XI. He's very confident. XVI. He's obviously not afraid to lose her. He's likely following several of the other commandments as well.
This guy is not a domineering or authoritarian type alpha. He's the super social, happy go lucky, life of the party, aloof, consequences-be-damned, super-confident type alpha. He lives his exciting fun life, and Olivia is thrilled to be able to go along for the ride. His life didn't stop when she was sick, it just kept going.
I don't know him all that well to be honest, but I'm sure if his cheating ever comes up, he surely would never apologize (important alpha trait). He'd probably reframe, brush it off, accuse her of overreacting, and insist that there's nothing wrong with a little fun.
In the last two years they've both traveled (separately), doing study abroad programs in various places. I assumed that she would break up with him, have some flings when she was away from him, and basically move on. But it's not the case. Despite all his running around, she can't bear the thought of actually breaking up with him. This story provides support for several game principles. With this story in mind, read the 16 Commandments of Poon. Adam (almost certainly unconsciously) is living by several of these commandments. II Make her Jealous. III. Make your mission your priority (he's living his fun adventurous life, she can come along for the ride or not, and she of course wants to). IV. He's living by his own rules. XI. He's very confident. XVI. He's obviously not afraid to lose her. He's likely following several of the other commandments as well.
How She Reacts When I "Misbehave"
Here's a few observed differences in the ways that my girl reacts to my "bad" behavior. Note that it's only been one month since I've been applying the male action plan, being more Alpha (since I've been a pathetic supplicating, apologizing, approval-seeking beta until now). The first two are recent, the others are older stories.
- Forget to buy bread. This happened recently and I'll tell the full long version of the story eventually, but for the moment, suffice to say that me forgetting to get bread on my way home elicited a huge shit storm of an overreaction from her.
- Unapologetically go to party without her, come home at 5:30 AM. She kisses me and after I get a few hours of sleep, she makes me a big breakfast with eggs, bacon, pancakes, hash browns.
- Make something she doesn't like for lunch. I apologize, explain, attempt to reason with her about the limited options of what's in the refrigerator and cupboards, backpeddle, offer to do something different, etc. She reacts by being an angry insufferable bitch the whole day.
- Have two friends over, drink for 8 hours, pass out totally clothed. She had to undress me and put me under the covers. I sleep for 16 hours. When I get up, she kisses and takes care of me. She gets me painkillers for my headache, again cooks me a big meal to help me recover.
- Be anti-social around her family/friends. She yells and screams, acts very unhappy with me for days.
Moral of the story: Be social, have fun, do what you want to do, in an unapologetic manner. She'll love you for it. If you let her overact to stupid bullshit and you don't stand up to her, then she WILL overact and it will get worse and worse.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Game is a Revelation
I am a man in my mid-twenties. I'm engaged. Recently I was searching the internet about how to improve the sex in my relationship, because it had dropped to almost nothing. I desperately wanted to see if I could turn things around before I marry my fiance, because otherwise I wasn't sure I wanted to go through with it. I don't want to be condemned to choosing between a sexless existence and cheating.
My google searches brought me to Athol Kay's blog, and other websites on Game. I have been devouring everything I can read on the subject. I got and read Athol Kay's book, the Mystery Method, Make Her Chase You, and some others. I've been reading Alpha Game, Chateau Heartiste, http://pua4ltr.wordpress.com/, and Approach Anxiety, among others.
Since finding this material, I realized that Game is a revelation. Looking back at my life, Game explains every interaction I've ever had with women. This deserves emphasis. The way my relationships have played out, all of them, fiance, girlfriends, girls I liked but they didn't like me, girls that liked me but I didn't like them, my parents, my sister, my female friends, my friends' girlfriends, all of this mysterious, illogical, frustrating, heart-wrenching behavior and turmoil, as I look back through my memories, is explained 100% accurately by Game.
Game is a revelation, and I'm going to be explaining my personal experiences from my past in this blog and I'll plot my progress as I apply the MAP (male action plan) to my current long term relationship. My goal is to help other people, and also to solicit comments with advice and pointers as I attempt to bring out the Alpha male inside that's been tamed and shamed before he had a chance.
My google searches brought me to Athol Kay's blog, and other websites on Game. I have been devouring everything I can read on the subject. I got and read Athol Kay's book, the Mystery Method, Make Her Chase You, and some others. I've been reading Alpha Game, Chateau Heartiste, http://pua4ltr.wordpress.com/, and Approach Anxiety, among others.
Since finding this material, I realized that Game is a revelation. Looking back at my life, Game explains every interaction I've ever had with women. This deserves emphasis. The way my relationships have played out, all of them, fiance, girlfriends, girls I liked but they didn't like me, girls that liked me but I didn't like them, my parents, my sister, my female friends, my friends' girlfriends, all of this mysterious, illogical, frustrating, heart-wrenching behavior and turmoil, as I look back through my memories, is explained 100% accurately by Game.
Game is a revelation, and I'm going to be explaining my personal experiences from my past in this blog and I'll plot my progress as I apply the MAP (male action plan) to my current long term relationship. My goal is to help other people, and also to solicit comments with advice and pointers as I attempt to bring out the Alpha male inside that's been tamed and shamed before he had a chance.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Share It
